Episode 41: Negotiate Your Divorce Like You M.A.T.T.E.R. with Rebecca Zung

This week Rebecca Zung, one of the top 1% divorce attorneys in the nation, joins me to talk all about the subtleties of negotiating a divorce. I first met Rebecca, in-person, when recording an interview for Laura Wasser’s podcast, Divorce Sucks. It’s always such a welcomed opportunity whenever I get to meet guests I have on this podcast, in real life. 

Ah, divorce negotiations. They can truly suck. How can you get through negotiations with your emotions in check? And also let go of overwhelming thoughts like, “They always get what they want,” or “I’ll never be able to ‘fight’ them for the house (or car or fill in the blank).” 

Today, Rebecca walks us through some of the strategies she uses with her own clients to help them successfully negotiate divorce, like negotiating with a narcissist, creating leverage, and using empowering body language. When you can successfully negotiate divorce, you set yourself up for what you want in your divorce, for your children and for your life thereafter. It’s time to stop thinking you have no power at the negotiation table. You, and you alone, define your value. It all starts with you. 

Show Highlights

• What to do when you feel your spouse and his lawyers are more powerful (7:01)
• Negotiating divorce starts with you, from the inside out (8:13)
• The divorce paradox: during the most traumatic part of your life, you have to make the toughest decisions (13:00)
• Dealing with the vulnerability of negotiations whereby you put a ‘value’ on how much you mattered to your spouse based on what you ‘get’ or don’t (15:00)
• Narcissistic personalities and how to navigate negotiations with them (17:00)
• Noone ever wins from being spiteful or pushing the buttons of your ex during the divorce process (19:00)
• Creating leverage in order to aid in you getting what you want (21:00)
• Passive and disempowering words and phrases, what they are and why you should not use them (24:00)
• Body language: powerful body language you can use and how to read body language to see if someone might be lying (25:00)
• Embedded commands, what they are and how you can use them in negotiations (27:48)
• Preparing for the negotiation process using Rebecca’s acronym M.A.T.T.E.R. (32:00)
• The different ways men and women keep their emotions in check (34:00)

Learn More Rebecca Zung:

Rebecca Zung is one of the Top 1% of divorce attorneys in the nation, having been recognized by U.S. News & World Report as a “Best Lawyer in America”, as “Legal Elite” by Trend Magazine, and recognized by her peers and the judiciary as AV©, preeminent rated in family law, the highest possible rating for an attorney by Martindale Hubbell.  She is the author of the bestselling book Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide for Achieving Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Freedom, and is a sought after major media contributor. Her perspectives are in high demand by television and print outlets, as she has been featured in or on Extra TV, Forbes, Huffington Post, Newsweek, Time, Dr. Drew, NPR Talk Radio, Good Day New York and CBS Los Angeles among others.   Now, based in Los Angeles, she is continuing to serve the divorcing population through her keynote speeches on negotiation called “Have It Your Way: Successfully Negotiate What You Want in Life and Business”.

Links:Grab your Free Negotiation worksheet, courtesy of Rebecca Rebecca’s podcastRebecca on FacebookRebecca on InstagramRebecca’s YouTube ChannelRebecca on LinkedInFred Rogers Addresses the Senate“Should I Stay or Should I Go? with Divorce Coach and Podcast Host, Kate Anthony” on Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast #156