Internationally renowned human emotion, connection, and cognition expert Tony Selimi is a coach and the author of #Loneliness and A Path to Wisdom. He is currently traveling the world, sharing his message of transformation and connection.

Favorite Success Quote

“I embrace equally both support and challenge” ~Dr. John DeMartini

Key Points

1. You Must Embrace Both Sides of Life

Life is not comprised of just the good or just the bad.

It is a beautiful dichotomous dance that blends together both exuberant highs and devastating lows meant to mold us, change us, and teach us.

While modern pop psychology gurus would have you believe that you should ignore any pain and struggle in your life and simply live in a state of constant and never ending euphoria, the simple truth is that life is beautiful because of the pain and struggles that we face.

Without the pain of discipline, there would be no joy in success.

Without the hurt of loss, there would be no satisfaction in gain.

Life requires the good and the bad to play out like the masterfully written movie that it is, and the sooner you learn to embrace both sides of life, the sooner you will be able to live up to your true potential.

2. Loneliness Affects Every Area of Your Life

Often times, as men, we revel in the concept of solidarity.

We love the thought of being the lone wolf, outnumbered and against the world achieving greatness all by his own accord.

And nothing could be more damaging or destructive to our overall health and well-being.

Whenever you live your life out of communion with others, whenever you lack strong bonds and friendships, and whenever you isolate yourself from the world, you are not only damaging your psyche, but your physical well-being and genetic expression as well.

Loneliness has been shown to cause disease, mental illness, and even alter your genes in a very real and powerful way.

There is nothing manly about depression and sickness, so quit trying to go it alone and invest into your social life.

3. Place Yourself in the Right Environments

An interesting phenomenon that can occur in our modern world is that men can be surrounded by friends but still feel lonely if the activities and conversations with those friends are incongruent with your personal values and desires.

For example, let’s say that you hate sports.

You couldn’t care less about the NFL or NHL or any other sports league.

And yet, one of your social circle’s favorite activities is to sit down together at the local bar, have a few beers, and watch the game.

Even though all of the men in the circle are fantastic influences and valuable friends, taking part in this activity will actually increase your feelings of isolation and loneliness.

This makes it essential that you start becoming more intentional about the activities you indulge in and the things that you do with your peers.

054: Be Happier No Matter What - Chatting with Tal Ben Shahar