Revenge Is a Hell of a Drug: Why We Crave It—And How to Break Free (The Velvet)

We’ve all felt that fire—the urge to get even, to make someone feel the pain they caused us. But at what point does that fire start burning us? This week, Kelly sits down with Yale Psychiatry lecturer, lawyer, and author James Kimmel, Jr. to explore the gripping science behind revenge—and why it behaves more like an addiction than a rational choice.

In his new book The Science of Revenge, James reveals how holding a grudge activates the same neural pathways as drug cravings and how many of us get stuck in revenge loops without even realizing it. Together, they unpack why revenge is so seductive, what it’s doing to our health and society, and the surprisingly powerful antidotes backed by neuroscience.

In this episode:

• Why revenge feels so good… until it doesn’t
• How ruminating on a grievance wires the brain for addiction
• The real difference between forgiveness and letting someone off the hook
• How mindfulness, gratitude, and self-compassion help break the cycle
• What James believes could be the next major public health shift

This one goes deep—and it just might change how you think about justice, healing, and freedom.

Book: The Science of Revenge 

Website: https://www.jameskimmeljr.com/

HOST: Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com

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