Living a Lie for 23 Years: How a Pastor Lost His Wife, Kids, and Church in One Day

In this brutally honest episode of Lights On, Carl Lentz sits down with Blaine Bartell for round two of a conversation that sparked hundreds of messages from pastors in secret crisis. Blaine, a former megachurch pastor who led one of America's largest youth ministries, reveals the unspoken rule destroying leaders from the inside: "Thou shalt not get caught." For the first time, he shares the shocking moment when a well-known pastor looked him in the eye after his exposure and said, "You know what the difference is between you and me? You got caught." They dive deep into a buried Focus on the Family study revealing 68% of pastors struggle with porn, why that number is likely closer to 85% today, and why the church has created a system that disciplines men into secrecy rather than healing. From the identity shift that finally broke his 23-year addiction to why porn is never the real problem, this conversation exposes the epidemic nobody in church will talk about. Whether you're a pastor hiding in plain sight, a man who can't break free no matter how hard you try, or someone who loves a person trapped in secret shame, this episode offers a roadmap to the freedom of having nothing left to hide.

Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/

Follow Blaine at: https://blainebartell.com/

Supported by God Behind Bars - https://godbehindbars.com

Supported by Plana - https://plana.org/

CHAPTERS:

00:00 - INTRO: "Thou Shalt Not Get Caught"

01:08 - Blaine's Story: 23 Years of Secret Addiction Behind Ministry Success

05:10 - Good Friday 2010: The Day Everything Was Exposed

09:50 - "You Got Caught. I Didn't." — What a Megachurch Pastor Told Him

14:52 - The Buried Study: Focus on the Family Found 68% of Pastors Struggle

20:26 - "When We Punish Honesty, We Disciple Secrecy"

23:45 - God Behind Bars Partnership

25:33 - How Jesus Restored Peter: Breakfast, Relationship, Mission

32:54 - Stop Raking Leaves: Why Porn Isn't the Real Problem

36:55 - "I Am a Beloved Son" — The 6 Words That Changed Everything

38:17 - Plana Partnership

41:10 - The New Pornography: DMs, Text Threads, and What Pastors Hide

47:07 - The Greatest Gift: Going to Sleep Without Secrets

56:16 - 4 Steps to Freedom and Sacred Rituals

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