Ep 398 Session 2 | Get Over Yourself (and Into Us)

Nov 11, 2025

In a deep exploration of personal struggles, a couple uncovers childhood traumas that shape their present. The wife confronts anxiety linked to hormonal shifts and shares her journey as a late-diagnosed autistic individual. Meanwhile, the husband reflects on the love and support he gained during his own early challenges. The conversation shifts to reparenting, emphasizing self-care and mutual responsibility in healing. A two-part secret to a healthy marriage is revealed, reminding listeners to prioritize empathy and connection.

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ADVICE

Treat The Body As Relational Work

Take medications and tend your body so you can show up authentically in relationships.
Prioritize sleep, exercise, and proper meds to reduce anxiety and relational reactivity.

INSIGHT

Body Memory Shapes Relationship With Self

Early body trauma and family disembodiment made Andrea treat her body as a battleground.
That history shaped her sexuality, exercise habits, and ongoing need to 'offload' stored stress.

ANECDOTE

Finding A Dad At Age Five

Ira grew up with multiple father-figures and met his 'adopted dad' Charlie at age five.
That arrival of a consistent dad at five became a defining, healing moment in his story.

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In part two of this couple's therapeutic conversation, they deepen their work from surface struggles into childhood roots, body awareness, and self-recovery.

The wife describes crashing after the previous session, discovering that missed medication and hormonal shifts had amplified her anxiety. That moment, she says, forced her to confront how fragile she felt—and how much fear lived beneath her irritation and exhaustion. She opens up about being a late-diagnosed autistic woman, her lifelong role as “the feeler,” and the early trauma that shaped her relationship with her body. The husband, in turn, shares the story of his complex, multi-dad upbringing and the formative moment when he finally received consistent love at age five—the same age his wife’s world fell apart.

Zach draws a profound connection between those two five-year-olds: one rescued, one wounded. From there, the conversation moves toward reparenting—the practice of showing compassion, guidance, and safety to the parts of ourselves that never got them. They explore how self-care, faith, and embodiment intersect; how sobriety means far more than avoiding alcohol; and how healing requires both personal responsibility and partnership.

By the end, Zach offers his distilled “two-part secret” to a healthy marriage.

The result is a conversation about growing up inside your own marriage—and learning to parent yourselves, together.

Key Takeaways

Reparenting heals the roots – Both partners revisit their five-year-old selves to offer compassion, stability, and perspective that was missing the first time.
The body is part of the marriage – Hormones, trauma, and neurodivergence live in the body; tending to them is relational work, not self-indulgence.
Sobriety expands beyond alcohol – Clarity, honesty, and freedom from distraction are part of becoming emotionally sober.
Faith and embodiment can align – The husband reframes yoga and self-care as spiritual practices that connect him to others and to God.
Self-care supports connection – The wife recognizes that when she prioritizes herself, she’s better resourced for partnership.
Relational recovery is lifelong – True sobriety includes recovery from anger, resentment, and inherited family patterns.

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