

47: Processing the Trauma and Grief of Faith Crisis
In this episode Valerie addresses a listener's request to address her faith crisis grief from a psychological perspective. Valerie uses this episode as an opportunity to talk about her own grief process both preceding her decision to start this podcast as well as her ongoing experience working through the grief that comes when our worlds are turned upside-down by faith and trust crisis. She shares 10 specific points regarding your grief as you valiantly struggle with your own personal experience.
The ten points that she discusses are as follows:
- Your extreme emotions are completely valid under the circumstances. Our variation of faith crisis holds many classic components of "discovery trauma".
- Pay attention to your "window of tolerance" and practice self care using Dan Siegel's 4 pillars of emotional health.
- Process your grief in connection with safe others, even one person. Do not grieve in isolation.
- Use your growing catalog of resources to find understanding about the nature of the crisis. Seek sources that encourage your unique experience and are neither apologetics oriented or inflammatory.
- Realize that your experience is far from unique. The church is going through a major shift and there are more than you think worldwide who are with you.
- Reflect on other brave reformers who can give you strength and courage
- Recognize how the church has instrumental in the creation of your character and identity in ways that have actually propelled you in this direction of growth
- Recognize with self compassion the many ways in which your experience in the church has handicapped your ability to tolerate the struggles of faith crisis
- Look for the tender mercies of God in upholding you through these struggles
- When the time is right, notice that love has the power to heal while anger and hate has only the power to destroy, ourselves and others.
This episode is in preparation for a special 5 part series where Valerie and Nathan are going to break down the GROUND-BREAKING LDS Faith Crisis Report that was presented to top LDS church officials in 2013. Please SHARE this podcast. Help educate others about struggles and possible solutions of our faith.
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