Latter Day Struggles

Send us a Positive Review!If Episode 384 (the one right before this one!) addresses the larger psychological question of why the holidays & family events can be extra challenging and painful for those on the LDS faith expansion journey--then this episode answers the equally relevant follow up question:  What can I actually do to maximize my potential to feel present and grounded at these holiday events?  In today's episode, Val focuses in on two prevalent kinds of LDS family systems that she has heard about over and over again in her work in LDS faith crisis/expansion: the authoritarian structure and her newly coined term, the 'adherent/apologetic' family structure.  If either of these family structures ring a bell then her "four critical safety pillars"— might help you navigate these challenging family gatherings with grace for your own nervous system and grace for your doing-their best loved ones.   Whether you're dealing with strict authoritarian dynamics or the anxiety-laden avoidance of adherent-apologetic families, Valerie's thoughtful strategies and encouragement will empower you to stay true to yourself while maintaining meaningful connections. Tune in to transform your holiday stress into an opportunity for growth and understanding.Wait, there's more!  **Want to catch the first part of this conversation and not a Friday Fellow?  Jump to the show notes for more info on how to catch this whole conversation!  **Need more to prepare?  Val has prepared an ebook companion to episodes 384 and 385.  Jump to the show notes for more information on this excellent resource as well!  https://valeriehamaker.com/downloads/navigating-family-faith-during-the-holidays/Timestamps:00:00 – Introduction and Episode Overview.00:44 – Navigating Family Dynamics During the Holidays02:00 – The Impact of Faith Transitions on Family Interactions03:00 – Context for the Episode and Friday Fellowship04:00 – Understanding Different Family Structures05:00 – The Psychology Behind Family Types05:57 – Authoritarian Family Dynamics07:04 – Adaptive Family Dynamics08:00 – Navigating Adaptive Family Interactions09:03 – Adherent Apologetic Family Dynamics10:30 – Indirect Communication and Triangulation12:31 – Practical Tips for Holiday Interactions14:00 – The Importance of Personal Choice and Boundaries16:51 – Pillar 1: Internal Safety20:00 – Tools for Internal Safety23:30 – Pillar 2: Relational Safety27:00 – Strategies for Relational Safety30:00 – Practicing Differentiation and Respect34:52 – Pillar 3: Environmental Safety36:30 – Setting Boundaries Around Participation39:44 – Pillar 4: Exit and Recovery Safety42:00 – Dealing with Post-Event Emotions44:00 – ValeSupport the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Are you curious about what has happened in the minds and hearts of the Hamakers eight months post-resignation from the LDS church due to the waves that this podcast has made throughout the world for the past couple of years?  Well, one thing that happened changed Val's life and is now changing hundreds of Latter Day Struggles Podcast listener's lives too.  It all started the day Val opened up a  book that became a portal to an entire universe of deeper-stage LDS faith crisis healing.   This new orientation is psychologically sound, as spiritually robust as they come, and is somewhat involved; but its healing philosophy can be summed up in three words: transcend & include.  Join Val and Nathan in this Q&A episode, where they walk through some questions that you might have if you have noticed a pivot in their Friday Fellowship content and want to know what you might be missing. Timestamps:00:00 Introduction and Welcome00:41 Exploring Transcend and Include01:51 Addressing Listener Questions04:23 The Origins of the Podcast06:59 Navigating Faith and Theology12:06 The Middle Path and Personal Growth18:43 Introduction to Ken Wilber's Work28:22 Understanding Our Place in the Universe29:31 The Concept of Transcend and Include31:58 Faith and Consciousness Evolution34:15 Challenges in Embracing Past Selves42:51 The Importance of Compassion and Healing50:52 Podcast Structure and Community SupportSupport the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Unpacking LDS Polygamy Developments in 2025 [Part II of II]Join Valerie and Jana Spangler as they finish their conversation about the fascinating currents of 2025 surrounding polygamy in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. In this episode they dissect the release of a new gospel topic essay solidifying Joseph Smith's role as the originator of polygamy, the provocative digitization of a John Taylor revelation, and analyze President Oaks' recent mentions of Heavenly Mother(s) in a public address. With insightful analysis and a call for self-discernment, they offer listeners both a historical exploration and a heartfelt guide to navigating these complex issues.Timestamps:00:00 Introduction and Welcome00:21 Discussing Polygamy in 202501:44 New Gospel Topic Essay on Polygamy03:52 Joseph Smith and the Origins of Polygamy07:42 The Church's Narrative and Modern Movements14:14 John Taylor's Revelation on Polygamy20:33 Polygamy in Church History22:21 Transparency and Church History26:40 Gender Equality in the Church31:47 Heavenly Mother and Polygamy36:09 Differentiation and Personal Faith41:22 Embracing Complexity and Holiness43:28 Final Thoughts and EncouragementSupport the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Join Valerie and her guest Jana Spangler in the next two Monday episodes as they delve into the complexities of polygamy within the Mormon church, focusing on the year 2025 when several significant events around this topic unfolded. They discuss how early Mormon history, particularly Joseph Smith's revelation on polygamy, has impacted the faith journey of many members. Additionally, they explore the recent polygamy-related additions to the 'Come Follow Me' manual and what this means for teaching younger generations about this challenging subject.  The conversation extends to practical advice for LDS church-attending parents and teachers navigating the the polygamy topic with children both at home and at church, with a focus on fostering critical thinking both in children and in the adults who are shepharding them in their spiritual growth and development. This episode promises a thoughtful examination of faith, history, and the ongoing struggle to reconcile and/or let go of difficult Mormon doctrines.Timestamps:00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome00:17 Discussing Polygamy in 202505:34 Historical Overview of Polygamy15:18 Polygamy's Impact on Modern Faith32:19 Personal Reflections on Polygamy43:42 Controversy and Church Teachings50:58 Questioning Narratives and Personal Feelings51:21 Teaching Complex Ideas to Children53:01 Gender Dynamics in Religious Teachings58:20 Revised Teachings on Polygamy01:11:37 Parental Guidance and Critical Awareness01:23:17 Balancing Structure and Flexibility in Faith01:35:38 Concluding Thoughts and Future TopicsSupport the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: A Two-Hundred Year Old Mirror: How the Faith Expansion Journey has Always Made Christian Leadership Sweat! [Episode II of II]In this thought-provoking episode, Valerie and guest Casey McFarland dive into part two of their series comparing the dynamics between orthodox leadership and progressive membership in both the early Christian church and in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. They explore the discovery of the Gnostic Gospels and how their divergent beliefs sparked friction with orthodox leaders of the time. The conversation addresses the parallels between historical and contemporary challenges, such as the struggles around authority, the role of women, and the push and pull between rigidity and progressive thought.  The fascinating conclusion:  What we are experiencing is utterly predictable, has happened before, and is more about the frictions around community, cohesion, and the inevitability that some souls much grow...even in a correlated space! Did you hear their announcement about the Latter Day Struggles 2026 trip to Italy?  Listen in and catch up if you didn't!   Previous episodes referenced:  159:  LDS University Students Pressured to Not Ask Hard Questions 160:  Why Scientific & Academic Inquiry IS Spiritual Seeking!Timestamps:00:00 Introduction and Welcome00:20 Comparing Modern and Early Christian Dynamics01:12 Recap of Last Episode01:21 The Gnostic Gospels and Early Christian Writings03:45 Role of Women and Educated in Early Christianity06:40 Evolution of God and Spiritual Development07:38 Historical Parallels in Religious Thought10:38 Authority and Questioning in Faith18:11 Modern Reflections on Historical Religious Tensions24:54 Inclusivity and Development in Faith Traditions26:42 Contradictions in Logic and Authority28:16 The Role of Satan in Early Christian Debates31:30 Personal Experiences and Institutional Authority34:05 The Struggle for Inner Authority and Faith Development38:27 The Tension Between Tradition and Progress50:15 Invitation to Italy: Exploring Early Christian History53:38 Closing Remarks and Future PlansSupport the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: A Two-Hundred Year Old Mirror: How the Faith Expansion Journey has Always Made Christian Leadership Sweat! [Episode I of II]In the next two Monday episodes you are going to LOVE this conversation between Valerie and her friend Casey McFarland (of @pioneerparadox) as they discuss a fascinating aspect of early Christian history that is sure to resonate with you on your own faith expansion journey. They delve into the world of early Christian Gnostics and their progressive beliefs that challenged the early church general leadership by claiming that while a church can be a useful resource in one's journey towards spiritual light and truth, God could be found within each of us and is not controlled by any other human person or institution. If you don't want to feel alone in your wrestles with institutional authority, these two episodes will hit home in every way. Also stay tuned for the end of the episode where Casey & Val make an exciting announcement that you will not want to miss! 00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome01:11 Casey's Background and Interests03:26 Early Christian History and Book Discussion06:49 Comparing Early Christianity and Modern LDS Church11:48 The Role of Early Christian Leaders30:40 Valentina and Progressive Early Christians36:43 Ancient Philosophical Schools and Heresies37:32 The Threat of Competing Beliefs38:24 Valentina's Following and the Church's Response40:00 Gnostic Beliefs and Self-Discovery40:59 Quotes from Gnostic Texts43:13 Gnostic Christianity vs. Traditional Christianity48:23 The Concept of Maya and Moksha52:58 Stages of Faith and Compassion01:01:34 The Transforming Power of LoveSupport the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: An Exploration of ‘Fabricated Fellowship’ & ‘Harmful Religiosity’ on the Path Towards Healing Spiritual Community [Part IV of IV]Join Valerie and her special guests, Steve and Ginger Hitz, in the final episode of a profound four-part series focused on the crucial role that community can play in fostering environments of growth and spiritual flourishing. In this episode one focus is on the harms of blind conformity and the importance of learning to trust ourselves in the pursue light, truth, and love. Remember: spiritual community can be a helpful re-'source'.  it is not the foundation of one's connection with THE Source.Tune in to hear practical advice on fostering meaningful connections within and beyond traditional church settings, and discover the power of embracing your spiritual journey with intent and authenticity.Timestamps:00:00 Introduction and Welcome00:27 Overview of the Series and Book01:49 Barriers to Authentic Fellowship04:20 The Parable of the Caterpillars07:20 Breaking Free from Conformity09:35 Personal Stories and Reflections12:48 Creating Authentic Connections18:03 Managing Tension and Spiritual Growth25:54 Family Mantra and Community Support36:24 Closing Thoughts and EncouragementSupport the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: An Exploration of ‘Fabricated Fellowship’ & ‘Harmful Religiosity’ on the Path Towards Healing Spiritual Community [Part III of IV]In this thought-provoking episode, Valerie and guests Ginger and Steve continue to delve into discuss their book, 'Igniting the Holy Flame.' In this episode the topic turns to a core principle key community spiritual healing. Paradoxically, the more each individual in a community is trusted to find God within, the more they bring this True Self to their communities around them. Healthy souls create healthy communities. This episode delves deeply into the importance of finding one’s true inner self, the impact of meditation on spiritual growth, and how to navigate the tension between individual faith journeys and traditional religious expectations.Timestamps:00:00 Introduction and Series Overview00:30 Recap of Previous Episodes01:29 Today's Topic: The True Self02:12 Guest Introductions and Personal Reflections02:37 Challenges in Religious Communities03:38 Reading from 'Igniting the Holy Flame'05:08 Discussion on True Self and Spiritual Growth06:31 Meditation and Personal Practices15:47 The Role of Patriarchy in Religious Systems19:28 Managing Tensions and Personal Authority21:38 Celebrating Individual Faith Journeys37:09 Closing Thoughts and Summary39:15 Conclusion and Next Episode Preview40:49 Final Remarks and Listener SupportSupport the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: An Exploration of ‘Fabricated Fellowship’ & ‘Harmful Religiosity’ on the Path Towards Healing Spiritual Community [Part II of IV]In this second episode (of a four-part Monday series), Valerie dives deeper with Steve and Ginger Hitz, authors of 'Igniting the Holy Flame.'The conversation centers on the barriers to spiritual thriving in church communities, specifically the concepts of 'fabricated fellowship' and 'harmful religiosity' complete with an exploration and examples of both concepts.The discussion underscores the importance of individual spiritual discernment and highlights the journey towards creating more inclusive and love-centered religious communities. As usual, Latter Day Struggles strives to invite candid conversations that have the power to bring growth, healing, and spiritual awakening to every listener as they move about in all of their communities, 'religious' and otherwise.Timestamps:00:00 Introduction and Series Overview01:17 Defining True Fellowship01:56 Personal Stories of Fellowship03:44 Challenges in Fellowship10:32 Fabricated Fellowship17:56 Harmful Religiosity20:35 Grace vs. Legalism36:47 Customs and Spiritual Growth44:38 Conclusion and Next StepsSupport the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: An Exploration of ‘Fabricated Fellowship’ & ‘Harmful Religiosity’ on the Path Towards Healing Spiritual Community [Part I of IV]As Richard Rohr has often said, "It is through great love and great suffering" that the soul grows the most rapidly and the most durably. In this four-part series (every MONDAY for the next four weeks!) fall in love with Steve and Ginger Hitz, co-authors of 'Igniting the Holy Flame: Building Communities of Love from the Ashes of Negative Religious Culture,' a book inspired by the tragic loss of their son, whose suffering was amplified by a church culture that could not meet him where he was.This book and this podcast series is a plea for further awakening around aspects of church communities that set about to help but instead inadvertently do harm through concepts like 'fabricated fellowship' and 'harmful religiosity'. In this series you will hear both candid conversation about the pain points of faith communities and how to heal, grow, and create peace both within ourselves and within our communities.Timestamps:00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome01:22 Meet Steve and Ginger: A Journey of Love and Faith06:21 The Faith Journey and Spiritual Community09:37 Skyler's Story: A Catalyst for Change15:55 Interfaith Work and Universal Love18:01 Revelation and Healing After Loss25:08 Overview of 'Igniting the Holy Flame'31:58 Closing Thoughts and Future EpisodesSupport the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website