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Latter Day Struggles

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Dec 13, 2024 • 41min

🔒 286: Why Patriarchal Men Struggle Giving and Receiving Love

Subscriber-only episodeSend us a Positive Review!Series Title: The Shocking Correlation Between Men Socialized in Patriarchies & Psychological/Spiritual Underdevelopment [Part IV of VI]In this episode, Valerie and Nathan continue their exploration of how patriarchy harms men by discussing the overlap between emotional underdevelopment and patriarchal socialization. They highlight how deeply socialized masculine norms restrict male emotional development beginning in boyhood, leading boys and men to have difficulties giving and receiving love in every relationship of their lives. They also discuss Jesus Christ as a model of healthy masculinity and femininity, advocating for a shift away from rigid gender roles as a path towards emotional and spiritual maturity for both women and men.Breaking Down Patriarchy Podcast- Amy McPhie Allebest- "How to be an Anti-PatriarchistDisentangling from Emotionally Immature People- Lindsey C. Gibson PsyDA**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming Spring 2025. Check back soon for details!OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Register hereCLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or Patreon⁠.⁠
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Dec 9, 2024 • 44min

285: Why Patriarchal Men See the World Transactionally

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: The Shocking Correlation Between Men Socialized in Patriarchies & Psychological/Spiritual Underdevelopment  [Part III of VI]In this episode Valerie and Nathan continue to explore how patriarchal systems can negatively impact the spiritual and psychological development of men. They discuss why patriarchal men learn to see the world transactionally, why they might with listening skills, and how this all impacts their capacity to find connection with their higher selves, others, and God. Nathan shares his personal journey of moving away from these norms, emphasizing the need for men to embrace a more emotionally aware and connected way of living. Join us as we dive deep into these critical issues and offer insights for creating healthier relationships.Breaking Down Patriarchy Podcast- Amy McPhie Allebest- "How to be an Anti-PatriarchistDisentangling from Emotionally Immature People- Lindsey C. Gibson PsyDSupport the show**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming Spring 2025. Check back soon for details!OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Register hereCLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or Patreon⁠.⁠
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Dec 6, 2024 • 51min

🔒 284: Why Patriarchal Men Struggle to See Others’ Realities

Subscriber-only episodeSend us a Positive Review!Series Title:  The Shocking Correlation Between Men Socialized in Patriarchies & Psychological/Spiritual Underdevelopment [Part II of VI] In this episode, Valerie and Nathan delve deeper into the effects of patriarchy on men, making sense of why some of our men struggle to look squarely at historical realities and struggle with seeing another’s viewpoint or self-reflection.  In this series Nathan is incredibly vulnerable, sharing how he has spent most of his life unknowingly stagnated in his psychological [and  therefore, spiritual] development by being raised in a patriarchal world and religious system as a cishet, white, Southern, American man. This beautifully candid conversation reveals the challenges of unlearning patriarchal conditioning and embracing a fuller, more authentic self.  Tough? Yes.  Possible?  Absolutely.  **More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming Spring 2025. Check back soon for details!OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Register hereCLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or Patreon⁠.⁠
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Dec 2, 2024 • 52min

283: Patriarchy and its Connection to Low Empathy in Men

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title:  The Shocking Correlation Between Men Socialized in Patriarchies & Psychological/Spiritual Underdevelopment [Part I of VI] Join Valerie and Nathan as they kick off a new DEEP DIVE series exploring how patriarchy affects men in the LDS Church. This series compares the attributes that emotionally underdeveloped people have in common with men socialized in an institutional patriarchy.  In each episode Nathan candidly shares how he is slowly healing from the wounds that patriarchal teachings imposed upon his mind and heart.  Tune in to understand with even more clarity how patriarchal structures negatively impact the growth and development of everyone, not just women, and why addressing this topic is crucial for a healthier LDS church. Don't miss this eye-opening six-part conversation!Breaking Down Patriarchy Podcast- Amy McPhie Allebest: "How to be an Anti-PatriarchistAdult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents- Lindsay C. Gibson PsyDLDSS Patriarchy Series: Episodes 212, 213, Support the show**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming Spring 2025. Check back soon for details!OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Register hereCLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or Patreon⁠.⁠
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Nov 29, 2024 • 50min

🔒 282: LDS Women Model Community over Ideological Purity

Subscriber-only episodeSend us a Positive Review!Series Title: Celebrating 50 Years Exponent II & Mormon Feminist Voices: Part II of IIIn this episode Valerie continues to visit with Heather Sundahl and Katie Rich about how the Exponent II community provided the. LDS patriarchal structure with a model of how organizations look when run by women and for women and gender minorities. What does this look like? • Rotating leadership structure that allows many voices, ideas, and opinions • The privileging of community over ideological purity• An interest in many voices and diverse experiences • More listening, curiosity, and empathy• A focus on providing safe space to experience connection all of the way along the Mormon heritage spectrum Listen to this incredible episode honoring not only the Exponent II organization itself but also a recent book published to capture its history and vision. Please support Exponent II by purchasing the book “ 50 Years  of Exponent II” https://www.amazon.com/dp/1560854774/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_P68B2S5G0PJ8SSB93JZM?linkCode=ml2&tag=valeriehamaker-20Charitable donations always welcome to help them build an endowment. Go to https://exponentii.org/support-mormon-feminism/donation/**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming Spring 2025. Check back soon for details!OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Register hereCLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or Patreon⁠.⁠
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Nov 25, 2024 • 57min

281: The Evolution of Strong Women’s Voices in the Mormo-sphere

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Celebrating 50 Years Exponent II & Mormon Feminist Voices: Part I of IIIn this episode, Valerie speaks with Katie Ludlow Rich and Heather Sundahl, the co-authors of newly  published book '50 Years of Exponent II'. They discuss the fascinating history of the original “Woman's Exponent” magazine in the late 1800s and its  revival magazine  “Exponent II”, both offering a place for Mormon feminists to gather, write, and share their experiences as  women of different eras wrestling with issues crucial to their time and their identity as women. The conversation in this and  Friday’s episode explores the impact of polygamy on Mormon feminism, the importance of women's independent voices, and how Exponent II's existence provided a crucial platform for Mormon women's stories and experiences.Trying to make sense of how feminism exists in an institutional patriarchy? Wanting to find others who value their heritage but feel passion for women’s and  gender minority issues? You’ve found your place! Please support Exponent II by purchasing the book “ 50 Years  of Exponent II” https://www.amazon.com/dp/1560854774/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_P68B2S5G0PJ8SSB93JZM?linkCode=ml2&tag=valeriehamaker-20Charitable donations always welcome to help them build an endowment. Go to https://exponentii.org/support-mormon-feminism/donation/Support the show**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming Spring 2025. Check back soon for details!OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Register hereCLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or Patreon⁠.⁠
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Nov 22, 2024 • 59min

🔒 280: Post-General Conference “Office Hours” Subscriber’s Recording

Subscriber-only episodeSend us a Positive Review!In this first “Office Hours” virtual meet-up, Valerie processes General Conference with Latter Day Struggles podcast subscribers.  If you’re a subscriber and you couldn’t make it, no worries: here is the recording! Some of the topics covered include: Emotions felt by many people in early, mid, and later LDS faith expansion journey Managing feelings of internal conflict …wanting to support more traditionally believing family during this weekend while also feeling very uncomfortable watching/engaging in the meetings…Temple Recommend Series: Episode 189: Latter-Day Challenges-Anxiety, Autonomy, & the Temple Recommend Interview Dilemma (Part I of IV)Episode 190: The Evolution of the LDS Temple Recommend Interview: A Historical Perspective on Shifting Standards (Part II of IV)Episode 191: Questioning the Questions-The Evolution of LDS Temple Admission Process(Part III of IVEpisode 192: Temple Recommend Historical Exploration: Purity Testing, Competing Oath-Bound Organizations, and Reimagining a Process Based on Love and Welcoming (Part IV of IV)And so much more! Want to jump into the next “Office Hours” processing LDS faith journey and holiday family and friendship gatherings? Information on how to subscribe directly below! Don’t miss a single life-enriching episode or gathering!!**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming Spring 2025. Check back soon for details!OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Register hereCLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or Patreon⁠.⁠
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Nov 18, 2024 • 45min

279: Strategies to Heal Mixed-Faith LDS Couples

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: A Story of LDS Faith Expansion & Marital Resilience [Part V of V]In this episode Valerie answers a variety of audience questions regarding the complexities of the LDS faith journey when a married couple finds themselves in different places on the LDS faith spectrum.  Valerie provides resources, insights, and tools around topics that range from how to establish emotional safety in frightening conversations, how to develop emotional intimacy, how to navigate parenting struggles, healthy boundaries, and how to grow intimacy & mutual in the differentiating marriage.  NOTE: the episode that was mentioned in this episode as forthcoming addressing why LDS marriages struggle so much when one partner goes on a faith journey was dropped one episode BEFORE this one (not after this one!). Sorry for the possible confusion!  Support the show**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming Spring 2025. Check back soon for details!OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Register hereCLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or Patreon⁠.⁠
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Nov 15, 2024 • 45min

🔒 278: Why So Much Suffering in the LDS Marriage?

Subscriber-only episodeSend us a Positive Review!Series Title: A Story of LDS Faith Expansion & Marital Resilience [Part IV of V]In this sensitive-content exclusive episode, Val tackles a tough theme--why does the LDS faith journey of one partner put thousands of marriages into a full blown tailspin?  In this episode she offers ideas that stem from hundreds of professional hours working with LDS couples in deep pain.  Topics covered in this episode include fear experienced due to the eternal marriage theology, low differentiation in many marriages, struggles that many couples have in managing conflict constructively, and the impact that being part of an institutional patriarchy may have on issues of growth and flourishing for couples.  This episode concluded with Val offering insights on what she has learned in working with couples who come to thrive following the faith journey of one partner.  If your marriage is on shaky ground, this episode might offer valuable wisdom, hope, and direction to you! **More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming Spring 2025. Check back soon for details!OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Register hereCLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or Patreon⁠.⁠
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Nov 11, 2024 • 1h 6min

277: My Faith Journey Actually Made our Marriage Stronger

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: A Story of LDS Faith Expansion & Marital Resilience [Part III of V]In this episode, Valerie is joined again by Katie and Jeremy as they share their journey from early religious alignment, through painful confusion and isolation, and then profound personal and relational growth and intimacy as a couple and family. Emphasizing the importance of emotional safety, attachment styles, and healthy stress management,  Through their candid discussions, Katie and Jeremy reveal how understanding each other's childhood experiences, pursuing curiosity over certainty, and utilizing trauma-informed counseling have given them the tools needed to resuscitate their marriage and find more connection than they had even before their faith expanding journey together. This episode highlights strategies for couples facing similar faith-related challenges and offers a wealth of hope, practical advice, and profound insights for couples striving to strengthen their relationships amidst evolving spiritual beliefs connected to the LDS faith tradition. For more information on the online class created and facilitated by Valerie Hamaker [Stress Management and Sharing Your Narrative] that is discussed in this episode go to https://valerie-hamaker-s-school1.teachable.com/p/a-couple-s-guide-to-faith-crisis-expansion-session-03-stress-management-sharing-your-narrativeSupport the show**More sensitive or more psychologically advanced themes are saved for paid Friday episodes to protect the content creators from being mischaracterized by less familiar consumers.**LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO FRIDAY EPISODES(Watch a 2-minute how-to video)THEN subscribe to Fridays here. TROUBLE WITH YOUR SUBSCRIPTION? Email: support@buzzsprout.comCONSULTING: Interested in doing individual or couples work with Valerie or a member of her trained team? Time-limited packages with Valerie and extended work with her team of coaches and therapists are available ⁠⁠here!⁠ SUPPORT GROUPS: Next support & processing group coming Spring 2025. Check back soon for details!OFFICE HOURS FOR FRIDAY SUBSCRIBERS: Register hereCLASSES: Visit our library.SUPPORT: Make a one-time donation to ⁠her business Venmo account⁠ or Patreon⁠.⁠

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