156: How the 9 Personality Types Influence Your Sex Life, According to Relationship Expert Christa Hardin
Oct 13, 2023
auto_awesome
Relationship expert Christa Hardin discusses the influence of the Enneagram personality types on sex life and marriage. They explore how different personality types affect marriages, analyze the traits of type seven, and reflect on style differences in relationships. The importance of self-discovery and coaching in maintaining successful relationships is also emphasized.
The Enneagram Personality Typing is a helpful tool for gaining self-awareness and improving marital dynamics.
Understanding one's own proclivities and recognizing their spouse's strengths and weaknesses allows couples to work through conflicts and create a deeper bond.
Deep dives
Understanding Yourself and Your Spouse for a Remarkable Marriage
Understanding ourselves and our spouses is crucial for making better decisions and building strong relationships. The Enneagram Personality Typing is a helpful tool for gaining self-awareness and improving marital dynamics. This tool allows couples to work with each other's strengths and weaknesses, fostering a remarkable marriage. Self-awareness and practice are required on this path, as well as taking care of basic needs like sleep, diet, exercise, and stillness. The goal is to reach self-actualization and create a deep, intimate connection with one's spouse.
Navigating Conflict and Differences in Personality
Conflicts can arise in a marriage when couples have different personality types. A story is shared about a vacation where one spouse desired more adventure and excitement, while the other felt content with the experiences already enjoyed. The challenges stemmed from the need for continuous stimulation and dissatisfaction expressed by one partner, while the other valued planning and practicality. Understanding one's own proclivities and recognizing their spouse's strengths and weaknesses allows couples to work through conflicts and create a deeper bond.
The Enneagram Tool for Understanding Personalities
The Enneagram Personality Typing is discussed as a useful tool for understanding oneself and one's spouse. It provides insights into individual motivations, fears, strengths, and blind spots. Each type is described briefly, highlighting their primary motivations and tendencies. The importance of self-soothing and self-care is emphasized for individual and marital growth. By understanding each other's Enneagram types, couples can enhance their communication and connection.
Improving Intimacy Through Self-awareness
A couple's sexual relationship is explored through the lens of the Enneagram. An example is shared with a type two and type five pairing, where one desires emotional connection and the other focuses more on logic and practicality. It is shown how understanding each other's needs, fears, and love languages can lead to deeper intimacy and a healthier sexual relationship. The importance of moving beyond fixed mindsets and embracing growth is highlighted, along with the potential for transformation in marriages.
The famous psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
Intimate marriages require a lot of intimate contact in terms of body, mind, head, and soul. It’s also why I believe marriage, especially sex in marriage, is the most sure-fire path to grow up and mature to attain your best and highest version of yourself.
The principles I want to share with you in today’s episode is that when you have a better grasp of your own light and shadow, and your spouse’s light and shadow, you can work with each other’s strengths to create a remarkable marriage. This requires self awareness and practice of course.
One of the tools I’ve found that has helped me understand myself and my wife better is the Enneagram personality typing. Today I’ve invited Christa Hardin to my podcast to talk more about it. I’ve read her recent book, The Enneagram and Marriage, and I wanted her to share some of her insights and experience with you to help you get your marriage on.
You can learn more about her book and purchase it on her website or Amazon.