Episode 108: DSG Abuse Mini-Series: How to Communicate with a High-Conflict Co-Parent with Bill Eddy

This week we are discussing how to communicate with a high-conflict co-parent. Joining me is my guest Bill Eddy. Bill is an attorney, therapist, mediator, author, and the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is a leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities.

Bill is also the author of BIFF™: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, and the just-released, BIFF For Coparent Communication. If you are in any kind of high-conflict situation, you need this book. Seriously. 

During our conversation, Bill shares his expertise along with tips and techniques to help maneuver difficult co-parent texts, emails, and social media posts. Whether you are in a high-conflict co-parent situation or simply co-parenting with an ex, this episode is full of valuable information you can put to use immediately.

Show Highlights

• High-conflict personalities and keeping high-conflict divorce out of the courtroom.
• How Bill developed the method of communication he uses in high-conflict situations.
• Why it is important to be brief when writing emails or written correspondence with a co-parent. 
• Why you should avoid labeling a co-parent as a blame speaker, high-conflict person, or as someone who has a personality disorder. Plus, what you can do instead. 
• Some techniques to help turn a high-conflict situation around or at least defuse one.
• The art of learning how and when to take a PAUSE.
• How to get information to a co-parent, in a friendly tone, and then end the conversation. 

Learn More About Bill:

Bill Eddy is an attorney, therapist, mediator, author, and the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is a leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years’ experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries and is the author or co-author of sixteen books (as of 2020) and has a popular blog on the Psychology Today website with over 4 million views.

Resources & Links:

High Conflict InstituteBill on Instagram High Conflict Institute on Facebook The Thrive Fund