Ep 87. Toolkit ‘101: Simple Ways to Build Connection & Belonging

What if the real craving behind your evening glass of wine isn’t alcohol, but connection? In this episode of The Big Drink Rethink, host Anna Donaghey explores the science and psychology of human connection, why disconnection hurts so much, and the small, practical steps you can use to build both belonging and self-connection without reaching for a drink. Anna outlines why we’re wired for relationships, how modern life leaves us more isolated than we think, and how alcohol often becomes a stand-in for real connection. In this episode you’ll discover practical, actionable tools that won’t just boost your mood, they'll rewire your brain for connection, resilience, and real happiness. 

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Introduction - why connection matters

00:51 The modern disconnection epidemic

02:27 Loneliness is as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day

05:29 Why rejection literally hurts

07:10 Using alcohol as a substitute for connection

08:46 Why being a stranger to yourself can hurt just as much

13:28 Craving connection vs. craving alcohol

14:02 The science behind connection

22:29 Difference between loneliness and being alone

23:47 The physical toll of loneliness

25:01 Our amazing neuroplasticity to rewire for belonging

26:17 Micro moments of connection: Daily “sparks” that retrain your brain

29:35 Mindfulness, the foundation of real presence and belonging

30:28 Practical Experiments to try

39:51 Loneliness is a biological signal, respond to it, don’t shame it

41:38 Connection comes from presence and authenticity.

Anna’s group coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps identify your alcohol ‘stories’ and beliefs, breaking the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. For more information and to find out how to join, please follow this link: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/unstuck-1 

To further explore your relationship with alcohol, check out Anna’s self-guided programme, The Big Drink Rethink Experiment:  https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/the-big-drink-rethink-experiment

And apply the code POD99 to purchase for just £99 as a podcast listener.

If you’re loving the podcast and would like to give Anna a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation, then you can buy her a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebeliefscoach.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

Mentioned in this episode:

To pre-order my book, What Are You Thirsty For on Amazon select here: https://amzn.eu/d/3v3T6Mq Or on Waterstones here: https://www.waterstones.com/book/what-are-you-thirsty-for/anna-donaghey/9781915780607