Breaking the Cycle: How to Stop Having the Same Fight Over and Over Again

Did you know that if you keep leaving relationships because you’re tired of having the same arguments, you’ll probably end up having those same fights in the next one too? It doesn’t always mean you’re not compatible. Most of the time, it simply means there’s something still needs healing.

In this episode of The Language of Love Sessions, I answer a question from a listener named Carrie. She wrote in because she and her partner keep fighting in circles. Same argument, same frustration, and she’s starting to lose hope that things will ever change.

I get it. It’s exhausting. But what I’ve learned after decades of working with couples is that repeating arguments aren’t just about who’s right or wrong. They’re often a mirror showing us the patterns and pain we haven’t yet healed. Our relationships have this beautiful way of bringing up the stuff that’s ready to be worked on if we’re willing to look at it.

In this session, I talk about:

• Why you keep finding yourself in the same kind of fights

• How to take responsibility for your part in the pattern

• The difference between incompatibility and unhealed wounds

• How to turn conflict into a chance for connection instead of disconnection

• Why doing your own healing work changes every relationship you have

If you’ve ever thought, “Why does this always happen to me?”, this episode is for you. Because real change doesn’t start by finding someone new. It starts by getting curious about yourself.

If you’d like me to answer your question on the show, send me an email at languageoflovepod@gmail.com or leave me a voice note at speakpipe.com/languageoflove.

Remember, love isn’t about avoiding conflict. It’s about learning from it, healing through it, and growing together.

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