On Purpose with Jay Shetty MEL ROBBINS: How to Stop People-Pleasing Without Feeling Guilty (Follow THIS Simple Rule to Set Boundaries and Stop Putting Yourself Last!)
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Jan 14, 2026 
Mel Robbins, a best-selling author and motivational speaker, joins Jay for an engaging conversation about breaking free from the shackles of people-pleasing. She emphasizes the importance of choosing oneself over gaining external approval and shares practical strategies to quiet the inner critic. Mel highlights how desperation can drive significant changes, encourages listeners to redefine jealousy as a signal for personal growth, and highlights the necessity of honoring one's needs for genuine wellbeing.
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Fear Of Being Misunderstood Drives Choices
- Most people fear not being liked or misunderstood more than other judgments.
- That fear drives behavior that makes them dislike themselves over time.
Culture And Stress Fuel Self-Criticism
- Stress amplifies self-criticism because fight-or-flight reduces self-compassion.
- Seeing ourselves constantly (Zoom, selfies) trains our brain to judge ourselves like we judge others.
Use Mantras And Your Name To Break Negative Talk
- Create a meaningful mantra and speak to yourself by name to disrupt negative self-talk.
- Write it down, say it aloud, visualize yourself acting that way to reprogram thinking.
