Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

84. Quick Thinks: How Others Define Us

Apr 4, 2023

Brian Lowery, a social psychologist and professor at Stanford, dives into the idea that our identities are shaped by relationships and cultural contexts, arguing there's no fixed 'self.' He discusses how personal interactions can both constrain and enrich our identities. Lowery shares insights on deepening connections through vulnerability and curiosity, providing strategies for meaningful conversations. He also emphasizes the importance of embracing change as part of our evolving self. Prepare for an engaging exploration of how we define ourselves through others!

16:10

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Episode guests

Brian Lowery

Highlights

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Episode notes

What are you most excited about in life right now?

02:00

Intro

3min

The Collective Self: Identity and Relationships

4min

Fostering Deeper Connections Through Curiosity and Vulnerability

2min

Enhancing Conversations Through Reciprocal Disclosure

2min

Evolving Self: Embracing Change

4min

“The self is incompatible with freedom, the way most people understand it, because the self is a constraint,” says social psychologist and professor of organizational behavior Brian Lowery. “The ‘you’ you’re talking about is actually the relationships you have, the social interactions you have and the cultural context you exist in."

In this Quick Thinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Lowery sits down with podcast host and lecturer in strategic communications Matt Abrahams to talk about his new book, Selfless: The Social Creation of You. Lowery argues that there is no essential “self” — our selves are creations of those we interact with — exploring what that means for who we can be and who we allow others to be. He also shares research on how asking deeply personal questions can be a tool for deepening relationships.

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