Psychology graduate and psychotherapy student Sadia Khan discusses the reasons why 70% of relationships end in the first year, including the prevalence of narcissistic behaviors in dating. She also explores the root cause of infidelity and gives practical advice on enhancing dating confidence and handling commitment issues. The importance of emotional intimacy and setting boundaries in relationships is emphasized, along with the negative impact of pornography on couples and the need to address exploitation in the industry.
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Quick takeaways
The illusion of options in online dating, social media, and pornography has led to narcissistic behavior and a lack of commitment in relationships.
Self-reflection and clear communication about personal insecurities and wounds are necessary before entering a relationship to avoid unrealistic expectations and failures.
Infidelity is often a result of men lacking masculinity and women lacking femininity, leading to boundary-crossing behavior and a lack of fulfillment in relationships.
Deep dives
The Impact of Illusion of Options on Relationships
The podcast discusses how the illusion of options in the form of online dating, social media, and pornography has affected relationships. People now assess potential partners based on their perceived worthiness and are often narcissistic in their approach, seeking maximum satisfaction. This leads to a lack of commitment and a tendency to replace partners with the belief that there are always other options available.
The Importance of Self-Reflection in Relationships
The episode emphasizes the need for individuals to reflect on their personal insecurities and wounds before entering a relationship. Often, people enter relationships expecting their partner to heal their wounds without even communicating their own diagnosis. This lack of self-awareness and communication leads to unrealistic expectations and relationship failures.
The Impact of Pornography on Relationships
The podcast explores the detrimental effects of pornography on both men and women. For men, it often results in addiction, blurred perception of value, and difficulties in physical and emotional connection. Women, on the other hand, can be influenced by the male gaze in pornography, leading to degradation, confusion about sexual identity, and catering solely to male desires.
The Role of Masculinity and Femininity in Infidelity
Infidelity is often a result of men lacking masculinity and women lacking femininity. A woman cheats when she has a partner who allows unacceptable behavior because he is unwilling to set boundaries and leave when his boundaries are crossed. On the other hand, a woman with strong morals won't cheat because she values her relationship and doesn't have the desire for infidelity. Women who engage in behaviors like staying out late, connecting with their exes, and posting provocative pictures online are more likely to find a perfect match in men who don't set boundaries and provide validation from other men. On the other hand, men get cheated on when they lack masculinity. This is often due to their partner not fulfilling their needs for intimacy, support, and attention. A lack of femininity in women can lead men to seek attention and validation outside the relationship, which can result in infidelity.
The Importance of Self-Control in High-Value Individuals
Becoming a high-value individual goes beyond financial success and physical appearance. It involves having strong self-control and making responsible decisions that benefit one's long-term growth and well-being. Self-control applies to various aspects of life, such as taking care of one's body through exercise and proper nutrition, managing finances wisely, and dedicating time to spirituality. High-value individuals resist short-term desires and temptations to achieve their long-term goals. Self-control is a crucial quality that signifies strength and stability, regardless of external factors like wealth or physical attributes. It is important for individuals seeking partners to prioritize self-control as a desirable quality, as it leads to a more fulfilling and successful future together.
After graduating in psychology and completing masters in developmental psychology Sadia began teaching in inner London schools amongst children of deprived backgrounds. She then went on to teach privileged students in Dubai and noticed not only the economic but psychological advantage wealth provides children when their parents can access therapy. Sadia decided to complete her studies in psychotherapy and decided to post a few videos online mainly to make therapy accessible to those who may struggle to afford it and to make therapy more digestible to those who may not understand the concept. The videos blew up and changed her career path to online therapist, podcaster and content creator racking over 100 million views online.
In this episode you will learn,
The #1 reason why men and women struggle to keep relationships and why narcissistic behaviors are so prevalent in dating today.
Why women cheat more than men and the root cause of infidelity.
The importance of self control when searching for a long term relationship.
Practical advice to enhance your dating confidence, providing you with strategies to feel more self-assured on a first date.
Strategies to handle commitment issues, enabling you to navigate this critical phase of relationships and lay the groundwork for a strong and enduring partnership.