Stoicism: Philosophy as a Way of Life Podcast The Rescuer Trap: We're Coming to Fix You, Barbara
Oct 29, 2025
Explore the intriguing dynamics of self-sacrifice and rescuing behavior. Discover how the sunk cost fallacy traps us into unhealthy patterns. Learn about radical acceptance and distress tolerance as keys to moving forward. Delve into the challenges of breakups, from mourning to practical steps for self-care. The conversation emphasizes the importance of recognizing when to walk away and how confronting fears can lead to growth. It’s a playful yet impactful discussion aimed at reclaiming personal autonomy.
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The Painting That Wasn't Returned
- Kasey gave away a personally meaningful painting to a colleague she barely knew because she felt compelled to 'rescue' them.
- She later felt bewildered and regretted the impulsive sacrifice when the reaction was underwhelming.
Self-Sacrifice Fuels Rescuer Behavior
- Rescuing often comes from a self-sacrifice schema and expectation of visible reward.
- When the reward doesn't arrive, rescuers feel bewildered and disappointed rather than fulfilled.
Ask Before You Act
- Ask what help someone actually needs instead of imposing grand gestures.
- Offer specific practical assistance that matches your skills, like documentation or chores.
