Episode 347: How To Improve Your Sexual Communication Skills

Nov 22, 2024

Dr. Evelin Dacker, a physician specializing in sexual wellness and the creator of the STARS method, joins to discuss enhancing sexual communication. She breaks down the STARS method, emphasizing its role in establishing safety and understanding boundaries in relationships. Listeners learn how to articulate their desires and boundaries effectively, making conversations about sexual health and STIs less daunting. Dr. Dacker also highlights why communicating relationship intentions is crucial for fostering intimacy and connection.

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INSIGHT

Foundation of Sexual Safety

Feeling safe is the foundation of healthy sexual relationships.
Safety involves both bodily sensations and clear communication of needs and boundaries.

ADVICE

Discovering and Sharing Turn-Ons

Discover your turn-ons by paying close attention to how your body feels during touch.
Communicate your specific preferences clearly to your partner to enhance intimacy.

ADVICE

Navigating Boundaries and Avoids

Recognize that boundaries may shift with different partners and over time.
Use attunement to your partner's subtle signals to navigate avoids and consent.

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Most of us recognize how important sexual communication is, yet we still struggle with it. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss a practical framework for improving your sexual communication skills. It’s called the STARS method. Using this technique will help you and your partner(s) to better understand each other and lay the groundwork for hot and healthy intimate encounters.

My guest is Dr. Evelin Dacker, the creator of the STARS method. She is a physician who specializes in sexual wellness, menopause and hormones, and vitality throughout life. Her unique approach to health incorporates pleasure as an important aspect for healing trauma and illness.

Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:

What does STARS stand for? What are the key things we should be discussing with our partners?
How can we go about discovering our turn-ons and communicating them effectively?
How do you tell your partner about the things you don’t want and communicate your boundaries?
How do you make discussions about sexual health and STIs easier?
Why is it important to communicate your relationship intentions, and how do you do this?

You can check out Evelin’s website to learn more about the STARS method and follow her on the socials @sexmeddoc.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.