Men in the Arena - Christian Men's Podcast Your Brain is Sabotaging Your Marriage w/ Ron Deal: 4 Steps from Neuroscience to Break Your Toxic Patterns EP 940
Dec 5, 2025
In this engaging conversation, Ron Deal, a licensed marriage and family therapist, dives into the neuroscience of marriage and how our past affects present reactions. He shares insights on restoration therapy, emphasizing the importance of renewing the mind to reshape behaviors. Ron explains the four reactive styles in conflict and presents a practical four-step process to break toxic patterns. He offers personal anecdotes, demonstrating how to recognize triggers and respond with humility and grace, ultimately enhancing communication in relationships.
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Marriage Near Collapse Sparks Change
- Ron Deal recounts walking into the bedroom at year 21 when Nan threw a suitcase on the bed and threatened to leave.
- That crisis led them to seek therapy with Dr. Terry Hargrave and eventually inspired The Mindful Marriage.
Old Ruts Drive New Reactivity
- Neurological ruts form early and drive automatic adult reactions like blame or escape.
- Renewing the mind remaps neural pathways so new, Christlike responses become habitual.
Four Predictable Reactions Under Stress
- When dysregulated the brain shifts from prefrontal thinking to limbic fight-or-flight responses.
- Those responses show up as four predictable reactions: blame, shame, control, or escape.
