When Kids Hide Their Feelings and Reject Our Comfort
Mar 19, 2024
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The podcast explores how children hide their emotions and reject comfort, with a focus on a parent seeking advice on helping their upset 3-year-old daughter. It discusses the importance of supporting children's emotional expression, creating calm down areas, and understanding their complex feelings without judgment. The episode provides strategies for parents to navigate children's emotions and offer comfort at their own pace.
29:20
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Quick takeaways
Children's discomfort with expressing emotions can stem from various factors like fear or shame.
Parents should prioritize acceptance over calming down when comforting upset children.
Deep dives
Understanding Children's Responses to Comfort
Children may sometimes push away from comfort when upset or hide their feelings, which can concern parents. In these instances, it's crucial to acknowledge that children's discomfort with expressing emotions can stem from various factors like fear, shame, or discomfort from past experiences. Parents should focus on creating a safe environment for their children to express all feelings, understanding that each child's response is unique and may require patience and acceptance.
Parental Approaches to Comforting Children
When comforting upset children, parents should prioritize acceptance and understanding over actively trying to calm them down. Pushing children to share their feelings or using methods to suppress emotions can inadvertently create more discomfort for the child. By calmly observing, listening, and providing a non-intrusive presence, parents can help children navigate their feelings at their own pace, promoting emotional development and resilience.
Embracing Children's Emotional Journey
During challenging transitions like separations or divorce, children may exhibit strong emotions that require a nuanced approach from parents. Allowing children to express feelings in their unique ways, respecting their need for privacy or temporary retreats, and avoiding imposing expectations on how they should cope can foster a sense of safety and trust. Additionally, normalizing children's emotional responses during tough times and fostering harmonious interactions between separated parents can support children's emotional well-being and adaptive coping strategies.
We're trying to be there for our kids, let them know we care, and give them positive, healthy messages about their feelings. What could possibly go wrong? In this episode, Janet responds to a parent who worries that when she tries to comfort her upset 3-year-old daughter, the child seems ashamed about her feelings, even angry, and yells at the parent to go away. The parent asks, "Do you have any advice for helping her to be more comfortable with feeling sad or angry?"
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
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