#1217 - The Doctor's Desk: What Makes a ‘Favourite' Child?

Is having a favourite child real, or is it just perception? In this episode of The Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie Coulson dive into the research on parental favouritism, exploring why some children may seem more favoured than others. They discuss how personality traits, gender, and birth order play a role in parental preference and share practical strategies to ensure all children feel valued and loved.

KEY POINTS:

• The concept of favouritism and how it manifests in families.

• Research findings on parental preference for daughters over sons.

• Why conscientious and agreeable children tend to receive more positive attention.

• The impact of favouritism on self-esteem and sibling relationships.

• Strategies to ensure children feel equally loved and valued.

PERSONAL STORIES SHARED:

• Kylie’s experience with favouritism growing up and her sisters’ perceptions.

• Justin reflecting on his own childhood as the eldest of six children.

• Parenting experiences in the Coulson household, including navigating teenage years.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
"See their hearts. When you understand a child, you naturally connect with them more."

KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS:

• Favouritism is often a result of understanding certain children more than others.

• Different children require different levels of attention at various times.

• Creating joyful, meaningful moments with each child fosters connection.

• Parents should be mindful of their body language and interactions to ensure all children feel valued.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Research study: Parents Favour Daughters: A Meta-Analysis of Gender and Other Predictors of Parental Differential Treatment (Published in Psychological Bulletin).

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

1. Reflect on your relationships with each child—who do you understand most and least?

2. Make a conscious effort to connect with the child you understand the least.

3. Create intentional one-on-one time with each child to build meaningful connections.

4. Focus on understanding rather than just liking your child’s personality.

5. Acknowledge that different seasons of parenting bring different challenges and strengths.

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