Fear of rejection with ADHD runs deep (Matthew’s story)
Sep 17, 2024
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In this engaging discussion, Matthew Raghunauth, an artist and UX designer recently diagnosed with ADHD, shares his journey of self-discovery. He reflects on feeling lazy and overwhelmed, particularly when transitioning back to office life after the pandemic. Matthew candidly addresses the fear of rejection, imposter syndrome, and the emotional toll of procrastination. He emphasizes the significance of self-awareness and how growing up means taking care of oneself, especially as a first-generation American navigating unique pressures.
Matthew's journey illustrates the importance of recognizing ADHD symptoms as genuine challenges rather than personality flaws, promoting the pursuit of support and understanding.
The shift back to an in-office environment highlighted the overwhelming pressure of task prioritization for individuals with ADHD, leading to feelings of paralysis and anxiety.
Deep dives
Recognizing ADHD Symptoms
The importance of recognizing ADHD symptoms as more than personality traits is highlighted through personal anecdotes. Individuals often describe feelings such as being sluggish or distracted, which may initially be dismissed as just part of their nature. However, the experience of juggling a professional and artistic career revealed that these traits were actually hindrances to productivity and fulfillment. Acknowledging these feelings and understanding their roots in ADHD can shift how one perceives their challenges, moving from a mindset of inadequacy to recognizing the need for support.
The Impact of Routine Changes
Returning to an office setting after a period of remote work dramatically altered daily routines and exacerbated organizational struggles for those with ADHD. The shift necessitated adjustments in sleep and meal preparation, consuming valuable time and leading to feelings of overwhelm when faced with task prioritization. This overwhelming feeling can result in paralysis, where individuals feel unable to take action on even simple tasks. Instead of completing tasks, many find themselves caught in indecision, exacerbating the anxiety that accompanies ADHD.
Taking Responsibility and Seeking Help
The pivotal moment of deciding to seek an ADHD evaluation signifies a conscious choice to take charge of one’s mental health and well-being. This realization often comes after recognizing that ignoring symptoms no longer serves personal or professional growth. People may initially perceive seeking help as a sign of weakness, particularly in contexts where cultural pressures to perform are prevalent. Ultimately, acknowledging the need for assistance and taking steps to address challenges is framed as a mature and empowering decision, allowing for the potential for growth and self-improvement.
Matthew Raghunauth always felt like he was a little lazy and sluggish — that’s just how he was. Then the time came to return to office after the pandemic, and he really started struggling at work. He questioned why he would put things off so much. He was scared to mess up, and afraid that his colleagues would think he’s a bad employee.
Matthew is an artist and UX designer who was diagnosed with ADHD about a year and a half ago. Join Laura and Matthew as they talk about this ADHD fear of being “found out,” and a grown-up view of growing up.
Want to share your “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at ADHDAha@understood.org.
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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