Enneagram and Marriage Why You Do Everything and Your Spouse Does Nothing (And How to Stop)
The second episode in our family systems series explores the overfunctioning and underfunctioning dynamic, the exhausting pattern where one partner takes on too much responsibility while the other does less than their share. The more one overfunctions (making decisions, remembering everything, managing household and parenting), the more the other underfunctions (waiting to be told, checking out, not initiating).
This isn't about laziness or control, it's a reciprocal dance where you're creating each other's behavior. Christa breaks down how certain Enneagram types are more prone to overfunctioning (2s, 1s, 3s, 6s) or underfunctioning (9s, 5s, 7s, 4s), though any type can fall into either role. The way out?
Overfunctioners must stop doing so much and create space. Underfunctioners must start doing without being asked. Both must recognize they're creating the pattern together. We talk about all of that right here!
This episode is part of the ongoing family systems series also running on Instagram. For a deeper dive, tune in to Apple or join our E+M Collective here! You'll get insider info, be part of an encouraging community, and get video trainings and access at https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/membership.
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