My Friend Autism

How to Beat Demand Avoidance

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Feb 10, 2023
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INSIGHT

Demand Avoidance As Autistic Response

  • Orion Kelly explains demand avoidance as an autism-linked urge to resist demands that can trigger overload, meltdowns, and burnout.
  • He frames it as a predictable autistic response tied to need for routine and sameness rather than willful misbehavior.
ADVICE

Give Advanced Notice

  • Give advanced notice of changes so the autistic person gains predictability and processing time.
  • Use that heads-up to let them plan and feel more in control, reducing anxiety-triggered avoidance.
ADVICE

Stay Calm, Be The Rock

  • Stay calm and avoid mirroring the autistic person's escalating energy when a demand triggers panic.
  • Your calm presence helps them de-escalate faster and prevents escalation into meltdown.
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