The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast 1KHO 677: How to Win the Lifelong Battle Against Yourself | Adam Lane Smith, Slaying Your Fear
Jan 12, 2026
Adam Lane Smith, an attachment expert and former marriage therapist, dives deep into our lifelong struggle with self-worth and emotional safety. He reveals how early attachment wounds can shape our adult relationships and hinder intimacy. Adam shares practical tips for parents to heal, explains the brain chemistry involved in love, and emphasizes the importance of tackling insecurities collaboratively. He also discusses how insecurity can detract from our creativity and purpose, offering insights on building stronger, loyal relationships through shared challenges.
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Attachment Is The Core Relationship Engine
- Attachment is how we give and receive love and shapes adult behavior based on childhood patterns.
- Secure attachment means trusting needs will be met while insecure attachment drives tactics to earn love.
Insecure Attachment Is Widespread
- About 65% of Western adults have insecure attachment, which explains many social and mental-health epidemics.
- Insecure attachment undermines bonding, increases anxiety, depression, and harms family systems.
Regulate Your Body First
- Learn to manage your nervous system through breathwork and physical techniques to avoid fear-driven reactions.
- Regulating your body makes you a calmer parent and reduces attachment-triggered hallucinations of threat.
