271: ADHD and Dads: Creating the Fatherhood You Crave, Larry Hagner
Jun 26, 2024
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Larry Hagner, founder of the Dad Edge podcast and father of four, shares his journey of parenting with ADHD in a heartfelt discussion. He offers tips on building connections through empathy and open-ended questions. Larry emphasizes the importance of advocating for personalized education in a rigid system while reflecting on his regrets about pressuring his son. The conversation highlights creating supportive communities where fathers can embrace authenticity and vulnerability—crucial aspects of navigating the complexities of parenting children with ADHD.
Effective communication techniques such as tactical empathy and open-ended questions are essential for connecting with children who have ADHD.
Building a supportive network among fathers fosters deeper connections and personal growth while navigating the challenges of parenthood.
Deep dives
The Importance of Authenticity Among Men
Men are encouraged to engage in authentic and vulnerable conversations with one another, as this fosters deeper connections and challenges societal expectations of masculinity. Rather than viewing vulnerability as a weakness, it is presented as a strength that allows men to express their emotions and seek support. This perspective helps to break down barriers that often prevent men from sharing their thoughts and feelings, leading to healthier relationships. Engaging in meaningful dialogue not only benefits individual men but also strengthens the broader community, creating a supportive environment for personal growth.
Navigating ADHD in Parenting
Parenting a child with ADHD requires a unique approach that emphasizes empathy and understanding rather than frustration or anger. Effective communication techniques, such as tactical empathy, allow parents to connect with their children, making them feel seen and heard during difficult moments. This method encourages parents to ask open-ended questions, helping children articulate their feelings and struggles rather than dismissing their emotions. By fostering a supportive atmosphere, parents can empower their children to develop coping strategies and feel more confident in their capabilities.
Holding Kids Accountable While Praising Effort
When recognizing a child's achievements, it is vital to focus on the effort and strategies employed rather than solely on the end result, such as test scores. By praising the hard work and dedication that led to a successful outcome, parents reinforce the value of perseverance and growth. This approach encourages children to see their potential and realize that their efforts can lead to positive results. It also helps children build resilience, teaching them to appreciate hard work regardless of the outcome.
Building Community and Support Among Dads
Creating a supportive network among fathers is crucial for navigating the challenges of parenthood, especially when raising children with ADHD. Dads are encouraged to initiate deeper conversations with peers and seek guidance from others who understand their struggles. By forming connections with other fathers, they can share experiences and insights that contribute to personal and communal growth. Such support networks are essential, as they provide a space for men to discuss their challenges, learn from one another, and foster a sense of camaraderie in their parental journey.
Struggling to connect with your child who has ADHD can be incredibly challenging, leaving you feeling helpless and overwhelmed. In this insightful episode of Beautifully Complex (first aired 2020), I’m joined by Larry Hagner, founder of the Dad Edge podcast and father of four boys, to explore how dads can create the fatherhood they crave. Larry dives deep into his own experiences with ADHD and fatherhood, sharing practical tips on using empathy, asking open-ended questions, and the importance of praising effort rather than focusing solely on grades. His heartfelt stories, like the regrets of pressuring his son, resonate deeply and provide valuable insights on how to avoid similar pitfalls.
You'll learn how to foster better connections with your kids through tactical empathy, reflective listening, and supportive engagement, especially during escalated moments. We also highlight the necessity for fathers to be more involved in their kid’s education, advocate for individualized teaching methods, and challenge the conformity-focused education system. Most importantly, we emphasize building a supportive community, where authenticity and vulnerability are celebrated, helping you navigate the intricacies of parenting kids with ADHD more effectively. Tune in to discover how to be more intentional and purposeful in your fatherhood journey, and turn challenging moments into opportunities for growth and connection.