Coming Out Late Ep. #95: Sapphic Sex Talk w/Whitni Miller, Part 2
In this Part 2 episode of the Coming Out Late podcast, Robin continues the conversation with Pleasure Education sexpert Whitni Miller. Casting aside timidness and insecurities around the topic of sapphic sex, members of Robin’s weekly “Not Straight Support Group” participated in a thoughtful, compassionate and consented conversation about pleasure, sex and intimacy for the purposes of this podcast.
In this episode you will learn…
- The difference between “performative based sex” and “pleasure based sex”.
- What’s ‘spontaneous desire’ versus ‘responsive desire’.
- What impacts your sexual temperament?
- Why do we have limiting beliefs around sex & ask ourselves, “Where did that belief come from?”, and “How is each limiting belief serving me and why?
- About the importance of needing to use our words in all situations, and in ALL types of relationships; and just learn to say, “I'm feeling a certain way.”
- In previous heterosexual experiences, it’s likely you’ve experienced coercion. If you feel those familiar sensations that you're being coerced, that's a red flag.
- You don't ever owe somebody your body to pay for the space that you take up. Sex and any intimate practices should never be transactional.
- In order to experience all levels of ‘pleasure’, we must be present in the moment.
- Self-pleasure is simply pleasure - it’s NOT guilty-pleasure.
- Most think that great sex comes from the other person; sex comes THROUGH your body, therefore, great sex comes through you, not ‘from’ the other person.
- People with vulvas can have arousal, non-concordance, which means the mind is turned on and the body's not, or the body's turned on and the mind is not.
- When we end relationships, we are NOT supposed to manage our partner’s emotional state of being; we’re not responsible for regulating other’s emotions.
- Wanna support our “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass
Links to resources:
PRIVATE ONE-on-ONE COACHING w/ROBIN DOUGLASS
Struggling to make sense-of and MANAGE this new aspect of your COMING OUT LATE life? Then send me an email and request my 1:1 Coaching Information Sheet. It really does make a BIG difference to have someone like myself who ‘gets you’ and who has been through it. Email me at Comingoutlater@gmail.com for my Coaching Info Sheet.
WHITNI MILLER - Sex Educator & Pleasure Coach
www.bde-moves.com
Whitni’s work can be found on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok. In fact, on Tik Tok, her channel has undoubtedly become an important source of sexual health information, and pleasure empowerment for thousands of folx.
SUPPORT GROUPS:
There is a $5 cover charge to attend each meeting. Register weekly for these and all Support Groups via the Buy Me A Coffee links below:
THE NOT-STRAIGHT:
Wednesdays, 12:30pm EST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $5
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/93135
WOMEN LOVING WOMEN:
Every OTHER Thurs. Evening, (alternating w/Fifty Plus & Fabulous),
6pm PST / 9pm EST, in Zoom. Via Buy Me A Coffee, $5
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/141783
FIFTY PLUS & FABULOUS:
Every OTHER Thurs. Evening, (alternating w/Women Loving Women),
8pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $5
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Ro