When High Ability Meets ADHD: Delayed Diagnosis and Midlife Transformation

Aug 19, 2025

Lisa Lackey, a licensed psychotherapist and coach, shares her insights on the late diagnosis of ADHD among high-achieving women. She vividly recalls the relief of identifying her own ADHD and how common it is for success to mask neurodivergence. Discussing the intersection of midlife changes and mental health, Lisa introduces the concept of 'second knowing'—a transformative awakening that encourages women to reclaim their true selves. Her passion for building community and celebrating unique strengths shines through as she emphasizes the importance of authenticity in the second half of life.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Books

Transcript

Episode notes

ANECDOTE

Diagnosis Triggered By A Client Encounter

Lisa Lackey read an ADHD book after recognizing it in a client and finished it in two days.
She then got professionally assessed and found out she had ADHD, which felt like a relief.

INSIGHT

Hyper-Competence Masks ADHD

High-ability people can mask ADHD by developing workarounds and overachieving.
That competence delays recognition because outcomes often look successful despite hidden struggle.

ANECDOTE

Struggling Became A Point Of Pride

Both hosts describe using workarounds and pride in accomplishing things despite struggle.
Lisa earned two master's degrees while accepting struggle as her normal way of functioning.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

What happens when two accomplished psychotherapists discover, well into adulthood, that they have ADHD?

In this thought-provoking episode, host Diann Wingert welcomes Lisa Lackey, a licensed therapist, coach, speaker, and community builder, to candidly explore their parallel journeys of late diagnosis, high achievement, and the transformative power of midlife self-discovery.

Together, they unpack what it means to awaken to neurodivergence after decades of "successful" living, the intersection of menopause and mental health, and the unique journey women take as they move from striving and struggle toward authenticity and fulfillment in their second act.

Guest Bio: Lisa Lackey (she/her)

Lisa Lackey is a licensed psychotherapist, coach, and speaker with decades of experience supporting high-achieving individuals facing addiction, anxiety, depression, and now, navigating the complexities of neurodiversity and midlife transitions.

After being diagnosed with ADHD later in life, Lisa transformed her approach—creating supportive spaces for women, particularly Black women, to rediscover their authentic selves, reclaim joy, and build community in the second half of life. Lisa is passionate about spiritual growth, legacy work, and helping others write their own rules for fulfillment.

Episode Highlights – What You’ll Learn

Why ADHD is often missed in high-achieving women, and how self-awareness—and even reading the “right” book—can be a game changer.
How hyper-competence, overachievement, and the ability to "make it work" can hide ADHD symptoms for decades.
Understanding how hormonal changes bring ADHD and identity struggles front and center for so many women in midlife.
Lisa’s concept of the “second knowing”- waking up in midlife, letting go of societal shoulds, and connecting to your true purpose and inner wisdom.
How women—especially women of color—can build new definitions of success, heal generational burdens, and lift each other up.

Connect with Lisa Lackey

Website: Inside Out Recovery
LinkedIn: Lisa Lackey on LinkedIn

Mentioned by our guest:

Driven to Distraction by Ned Hallowell, MD - the book Lisa read in 2 hours & recognized her own ADHD

Bell Hooks - Black author, best known for her work on race, feminism & social class

Sankofa - a word in the Twi language of Ghana, meaning “to retrieve”

If something in this episode struck a chord, share it with a friend, leave us a review, or drop a comment on Spotify about your own late diagnosis and mid life awakening.