EP 31 - Aubrey Marcus & Kyle Kingsbury

What does it take to build a loving, successful relationship? Why does that seem all the more difficult now, in this day and age?

Oh, and how do you build that with THREE people in the relationship – and we don’t mean you and a child.

In this episode of Living 4D, Paul explores the nature of healthy relationships – and open relationships – with a pair of fellow travelers in Aubrey Marcus, founder and CEO of Onnit, and Kyle Kingsbury, former UFC fighter and Onnit’s Director of Human Optimization.

Show Notes

• Paul’s simple advice about polyamorous relationships: Until you learn to ride one horse very well, it’s dangerous to ride two at a time. (2:18)
• The first challenge with these relationships: Can you be honest? (6:31)
• “I needed to feel like I was the most physically dominant to be loved.” (18:49)
• Diseases between partners in relationships are ones stemming from repression and people wanting to be the center of attention. (26:08)
• Being polyamorous and wanting novelty isn’t just “a male thing.” (32:34)
• Psychedelics and plant medicines can help people unpack cultural programming. (38:43)
• “Love isn’t meant to be possessed. Love is meant to be wild to a certain degree.” (41:20)
• Plant medicines merely show you a path. You must still do the work to make change happen. (48:13)
• Making a compromise can be an act of love when it’s acknowledged by your partner. (54:52)
• How Kyle’s Prius is like the Batmobile… (1:02:54)
• Open relationships quickly expose our weaknesses and traumas that require fixing. (1:07:24)
• Paul has felt fears of “burning in hell” and being judged by God during a sexual experience. (1:15:55)
• A rare moment when the tables are turned and Paul became the student. (1:18:53)
• Open relationships require trust in your partner and yourself. (1:25:00)
• The financial sacrifices Paul made to keep the CHEK Institute alive. (1:30:22)
• The concept of compersion. (1:35:51)
• Seinfeld’s airing of grievances works in the real world. (1:43:10)
• Bringing someone new into an open relationship, especially one kids, is much like building a supportive tribe. (1:49:27)

Listen to Kyle’s Human Optimization Hour and the Aubrey Marcus podcast on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher and Google Play.

Resources

• Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray and What it Means For Modern Relationships by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha
• Nonviolent Communication: The Basics As I Know and Use Them by Wayland Myers
• Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust and Infidelity is Wrong and How The New Science Can Set Us Free by Wednesday Martin
• Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality

Thanks to our awesome sponsors:

Paleovalley
BIOptimizers US and BIOptimizers UK PAUL15
Organifi CHEK20
Wild Pastures
Korrect SPIRITGYM
Pique Life
CHEK Institute/CHEK Academy
Zen in the Garden

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