Shawn Ryan Show #246 Vanessa Marin - Sex Doctor Explains Why Bad Sex Destroys Marriages and How to Prevent It
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Oct 20, 2025 
Vanessa Marin, a seasoned sex therapist and author, discusses the impact of sexual intimacy on relationships. She shares insights on why desire fades in long-term commitments and the importance of initiating intimacy with confidence. Vanessa emphasizes communication, offering practical tips like the 'fuck first' rule and discussing initiation styles. She addresses the role of body confidence and the necessity of open conversations about pleasure and desire. Her expertise sheds light on maintaining attraction and combating issues that lead to relationship strife.
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Romantic Highs Are Time-Limited
- Initial romantic intensity is biologically unsustainable after 6–12 months due to neurotransmitter changes.
- Couples often coast after commitment and stop doing things that created initial closeness.
Have Sex Before Date Night
- Try the "fuck first" rule: have sex before date-night events to avoid being bloated or tired.
- Make sex a prelude so the night feels like a sexy surprise rather than an exhausted afterthought.
Initiation Is A Vulnerable Signal
- Initiation is vulnerable and often clumsy, which leads partners to misread intent.
- Learning each other's initiation style prevents dismissive reactions and increases connection.
