Eps 148: Solo Show - Teasing Apart the External Parenting Experience from the Internal Experience

Wading through our experience to support out children

The writing process

Going deeper into what parents can uncover/discover for themselves

We have an external experience of raising kids – everything that happens outside of us

We also are having an internal experience – the ways that our physical body feels, sensations, also the emotional experience that we are having, what gets brought up by the external stimuli

External and internal are both happening at the same time

Based on what our experiences have been in life, our relationships in life, we have a lens that we see the world out of

Sometimes the internal response “works” for us

We have a well wired survival system – amygdala – but our survival system isn’t always what is needed in our daily life

The pendulum swing of raising/living with teens – everything is great until it is not, parents are the anchor that witness/hold space and it’s hard to remember that the behavior is a pendulum swing. Connect /loving vs dysregulation/discouragement

We (parents) go into “fix it” mode

Alternative – recognizing what is happening physically in my body, seeing what is happening for me, what is the lens I am looking out of?

Fear – tension in the body – belly/jaw

When kids feel discouraged, they tend to want to share the feeling with others

Looking below the surface - the iceberg metaphor

Today is a reminder that there is so much going on under the surface…. Curiosity as a guide AND it’s ok and important to recognize where you are at physically/emotionally and taking a pause to get yourself together