Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women cover image

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

332: Ever gone into freeze? Here’s what’s actually going on. (ft. Stacy Matulis)

Oct 25, 2024
Stacy Matulis, Founder of Alchemy Somatics and a somatic healer specializing in trauma integration, shares insights on navigating the freeze response in relationships. She explains how feeling anxious or shutting down during interactions stems from nervous system overwhelm. Stacy discusses the vital role of emotional connection in healing trauma and emphasizes the importance of processing feelings gradually. Listeners learn how early experiences shape adulthood and discover transformative practices for overcoming emotional barriers.
01:16:27

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Quick takeaways

  • The freeze response, often resulting from unmet emotional needs in childhood, can hinder adults from forming intimate connections and navigating relationships effectively.
  • Transformation is essential for personal growth, requiring individuals to confront and release outdated versions of themselves to embrace authenticity.

Deep dives

The Impact of Attention on Development

Real attuned attention from caregivers is crucial for healthy emotional development. Adults who are preoccupied or emotionally unresponsive can create feelings of neglect in children, leading them to feel as though their needs are unimportant. This lack of safety in childhood settings can lead to the development of defense mechanisms such as freezing, where children learn to suppress their feelings to avoid further emotional dysregulation in adults. It is vital for children to receive genuine attention, not merely the physical presence of caregivers, to foster a secure attachment and stable emotional growth.

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