Good Inside with Dr. Becky cover image

Good Inside with Dr. Becky

The single most important parenting strategy | TED Talks Daily

Oct 19, 2023
Clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy discusses the importance of repair in parenting and provides practical advice for managing guilt and shame. She explores the power of repairing emotional distress in children and the positive impact it has on their development. Dr. Kennedy emphasizes the importance of repairing conflicts and reconnecting with children, as well as the potential for positive change and growth through repair.
15:53

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

  • Repairing is crucial in parenting and all relationships, involving acknowledging disconnect and taking responsibility for behavior.
  • Not repairing fails to foster reconnection, perpetuating harmful narrative loops and negatively impacting emotional regulation skills.

Deep dives

The Power of Repairing in Parenting and Relationships

Repairing is crucial in parenting and all relationships. It involves acknowledging moments of disconnect, taking responsibility for one's behavior, and addressing its impact on others. Repairing goes beyond mere apologies and opens up conversations for growth and connection. Failing to repair can lead to self-blame in children, which affects their self-perception and mental health. Repairing allows for rewriting the narrative, changing memories, and adding elements such as safety, connection, and love. Repairing starts with self-repair, separating behavior from identity, and replacing self-loathing with growth-oriented thinking. It then extends to repairing with the child by naming what happened, taking responsibility, and stating how behavior will change in the future. Repairing has a lifelong impact, shaping adult relationship patterns and facilitating positive behavior change in children.

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