Don't Label Me! The Psychology of Labels with Irshad Manji
Aug 17, 2023
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Internationally acclaimed educator, author, and speaker Irshad Manji discusses the importance of avoiding labels and embracing diversity. Topics include her personal background as a refugee, the power of breathing and responding responsibly, her latest book 'Don't Label Me', and engaging in inquisitive conversations.
Asking sincere questions in conversations across lines of disagreement creates space for productive dialogue and humanizes oneself.
Labels only capture a small part of a person's identity, and approaching conversations with humility and sincere questions helps to avoid misunderstandings and promotes respectful exchange of ideas.
Deep dives
Effective Communication: The Power of Sincere Questions
One of the most powerful strategies in communicating across lines of disagreement is to ask sincere questions. Sincere questions demonstrate that you are listening, care about the other person, and are open to learning from their perspective. By taking a moment to breathe and ask clarifying questions, you can avoid becoming defensive and create space for a more productive conversation. The goal is not to change someone's mind, but to humanize yourself and signal that you are willing to engage in a genuine dialogue.
Navigating Labels: Going Beyond Stereotypes
Labels can be dangerous because they only capture a small slice of who a person is and come with preconceived notions and baggage. It is important to recognize that people are complex and multifaceted. While labels can provide a starting point for understanding, it is crucial to approach conversations with humility and to ask sincere questions to fully grasp a person's views and values. This helps to avoid misunderstandings and allows for a more nuanced and respectful exchange of ideas.
Overcoming Ego and Emotional Defenses
When engaged in a conversation where disagreements arise, it is essential to recognize and manage the primal part of the brain that triggers the ego and emotional defenses. Taking a breath or two helps to decelerate the blood rush and allows for a more reasoned response rather than a reactive one. By doing so, you can tap into the more evolved part of the brain and approach the conversation with curiosity and a willingness to listen, setting the stage for constructive dialogue.
The Process is the Product: Shifting Intentions
When engaging in conversations with others, it is important to examine one's own intentions. If the goal is to win or prove someone wrong, it becomes a self-centered exercise that often leads to unproductive arguments. However, if the intention is to learn, understand, and challenge oneself to communicate more effectively, even with individuals who hold opposing views, the process itself becomes a valuable opportunity for personal growth and building stronger relationships.
Irshad Manji is an internationally acclaimed educator, author, and speaker. She serves as the Director for Courage, Curiosity, and Character at Let Grow, a national nonprofit that promotes intellectual independence and emotional resilience in young people. Its signature program is Moral Courage College, which has been brought to K-12 audiences and further adapted for universities and businesses. Her latest book, Don't Label Me, is a guide to doing diversity without inflaming the culture wars. Irshad’s two previous books detailed the need for reform within her faith of Islam. Using the Moral Courage Method, she shows how to be disruptive without becoming destructive.