Short Wave

How To Disagree Better

16 snips
Nov 26, 2025
Rudy Mendoza-Denton, a psychology professor at UC Berkeley, shares insights on navigating disagreements, especially during the holiday season. He discusses how our bodies react to conflict and the role of quick trust judgments linked to our amygdala. The conversation highlights the mental toll of disagreements and offers techniques like empathy, sharing personal stories, and focusing on understanding rather than winning debates. Ultimately, building connections through humility and intention can help bridge divides.
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ANECDOTE

Long Marriage Built On Shared Life

  • Jeannie Safer and Richard Brookhiser met in a Renaissance singing group and married despite deep political differences.
  • They avoided certain topics like abortion and focused on shared interests to sustain their relationship.
INSIGHT

Disagreement Trips The Brain's Threat System

  • Disagreement activates physiological responses like dilated pupils, racing heart, and sweating that foster mistrust.
  • Our amygdala responds more when we face someone we view as untrustworthy or outside our group.
INSIGHT

Brains Sync When We Agree

  • Joy Hirsch's study showed brains sync during agreement and desynchronize during disagreement.
  • Disagreement consumes far more neural resources and engages many brain regions simultaneously.
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