Savvy Psychologist 4 communication assassins that end relationships
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Sep 30, 2022 Discover the four communication assassins that can ruin relationships: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stone walling.
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Four Predictive Communication Patterns
- The Gottmans identify four communication patterns that predict relationship breakdown: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling.
- Recognizing the distinction between a complaint and criticism reveals how language targets either behavior or the person.
Dinner Example Showing Complaint Vs Criticism
- Dr. Monica Johnson uses a dinner example to show the difference between a complaint and criticism.
- The complaint states facts and feelings while the criticism attacks the person's character.
Respond By Acknowledging And Fixing
- When faced with criticism, avoid defensiveness and shifting blame.
- Instead, acknowledge the other's feelings and offer a concrete fix, like apologizing and proposing to make dinner in 30 minutes.