Brad, author of 'Master of Change,' emphasizes the power of a flexible mindset over a rigid identity. He explains the crucial shift from a 'having' orientation to a 'being' orientation, which fosters resilience and personal growth. Brad shares inspiring stories, including one about an Iron Man champion who redefined her identity. He also delves into identifying core values by reflecting on admired figures and envisioning one's eulogy, stressing that true fulfillment comes from embracing adaptability and prioritizing intrinsic qualities.
Embracing a being orientation over a having orientation fosters resilience by allowing individuals to define themselves through intrinsic qualities rather than external achievements.
Adopting a being mindset enhances flexibility in identity, enabling easier adaptation during life transitions, as illustrated by personal stories shared in the podcast.
Deep dives
The Difference Between Having and Being
The distinction between having and being is explained as two fundamental orientations that shape our identity. A having orientation focuses on external possessions and achievements, leading to fragility as these can be lost or taken away. In contrast, a being orientation emphasizes intrinsic qualities and values, allowing individuals to define themselves through who they are rather than what they own. This perspective fosters resilience, as one’s core attributes remain intact regardless of changing circumstances.
Practical Applications of Being Mindset
Adopting a being mindset facilitates greater flexibility in one’s identity, particularly in challenging situations. For instance, the story of Chelsea Sedara illustrates how embracing her identity as an athlete rather than clinging to specific achievements allowed her to adapt when she transitioned to triathlons. Similarly, in parenting, defining relationships through love rather than ownership promotes healthier dynamics as children mature. This approach aligns with various philosophical traditions, highlighting the universal truth about the importance of valuing one's essential qualities.
The psychologist and philosopher Erich Fromm argued that there are two fundamental orientations we can bring to the world: a having orientation and a being orientation. The difference between the two—which Brad lays out today, and in his most recent book, Master of Change—is the difference between getting stuck in your identity, and being durable, flexible, and versatile over the course of one's life. Plus, Brad gives a quick primer on how to define your core values.
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