

One Choice Away: Justin and Trisha Davis on Marriage, Forgiveness, and the Enneagram (Types 8 & 3)
Sep 25, 2025
Justin Davis, a pastor and co-founder of RefineUs Ministries, and Trisha Davis, also a pastor and author, share their powerful journey through marriage struggles. They discuss the nuances of their Enneagram types—Eights and Threes—unpacking how these dynamics played out in their relationship. The couple reflects on the importance of vulnerability, healing through grief, and the non-linear process of forgiveness. Their insights offer practical steps for anyone seeking to transform their relationships through intentional choices and genuine presence.
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Enneagram As A North Star
- The Enneagram revealed how their wiring amplified both strengths and toxicity in the marriage.
- Naming that dynamic gave them a North Star: when healthy they are "magic," when unhealthy they become "toxic."
Prioritize Health Over Blame
- Do prioritize emotional and spiritual health to unlock relational synergy rather than blaming the other.
- Practice authenticity and vulnerability beyond performative moments to deepen connection.
Value Beyond Achievement
- Trisha had to learn that relationship worth isn't measured by achievement or visible metrics.
- She learned to show up fully without using performance as proof of value.