#255 Rewriting Masculinity: Talking Circles, Rites of Passage, and Real Change (with Michael Brasher)

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Michael Brasher, a passionate men's work facilitator and community organizer. Michael’s journey began while working at a domestic violence shelter, where his exposure to a men’s education program transformed his understanding of masculinity and violence. Since then, he has devoted his life to violence prevention and creating spaces for men to heal, grow, and reconnect with their emotional lives. Michael shares insights from years of running men’s groups, talking circles, and rites of passage experiences for men and boys. We explore the challenges of engaging men in vulnerability, the harmful impacts of traditional masculine norms, and the importance of bridging personal healing with community action. Michael’s work is grounded in compassion, connection, and a vision of masculinity rooted in care and accountability.

Key Points:

Michael's background and passion for men's work

Michael shares his personal story of how working at a domestic violence shelter and going through a men's education program changed his life and set him on a path to devote himself to violence prevention and community organizing to help men understand and heal from the violence they've been incentivized into.

Challenges of engaging men in this work

Michael discusses how men are often resistant to this type of work, but explains that if the right space and conversation is created, men will open up and be vulnerable. He shares examples of successfully facilitating men's groups and workshops, even with populations like fraternities that are often seen as resistant.

The socialization of masculinity and its impacts

Michael and Cam explore how traditional masculine norms and expectations are deeply harmful, leading men to disconnect from their emotions and pain. They discuss how this socialization perpetuates cycles of violence and trauma that get passed down generationally.

Creating spaces for men to heal and grow

Michael describes the importance of creating spaces for men to be vulnerable, share their pain, and reimagine healthier versions of masculinity. He shares examples of programs he's run, like weekly talking circles and wilderness rites of passage trips for boys and men.

Bridging individual healing and community action

Cam and Michael discuss the need to move beyond just individual healing work and into collective action and community organizing to dismantle the systemic issues underlying toxic masculinity. They explore ideas like volunteering at community centers, leading group trips, and building intergenerational relationships.

Overcoming resistance and criticism

They acknowledge the challenges of facing criticism and resistance, especially around perceptions of men working with boys. They emphasize the importance of being grounded in one's community and values, and not letting fear of judgment prevent doing important work.

Michael's ongoing programs and resources

Michael shares information about his ongoing work, including his social media presence, monthly men's talking circles, and upcoming book club discussions - all aimed at providing spaces for men to heal, grow, and build healthier relationships.

Relevant links:

Website: https://www.lifeunboundcoaching.com/

Instagram: @lifeunboundcoaching