

367: 'For some reason, I tend to attract "projects."' (ft. Jason Lange)
Have you got a history of partnering with women who are physically or emotionally unstable? Maybe they've got an insecure living situation (or chaotic/dangerous ex-partner). Perhaps they're financially challenged, or they've got serious issues with depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues.
You may even have been with a partner who became so emotionally dependent on you that you became concerned that if you weren't there, she'd be in serious trouble -- might even hurt or kill herself. As Jason puts it, "If I remove myself from the situation, I don’t know how my partner would survive."
This episode is actually not about those women! ;) This episode is about the other side -- you.
If you've wondered why you've repeated this pattern of attracting "projects," you've come to the right place. Here we break down what goes into the pattern of attracting women you feel you need to "save" or "rescue." We talk about the vulnerability involved in dating healthier women, as well as the immense payoff -- and how to get there.
This episode will also resonate if you've ever felt burdened or resentful in your relationship -- like you're doing way more than your partner, and putting in more than you're getting back. We talk about the pain of feeling used ... and what to do about it.
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Want to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.
To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
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Memorable quotes from this episode:
- “There’s a type of security, safety, and polarity that comes from being the hero.”
- “If I’m doing stuff for you and you appreciate that, I get to feel good about myself.”
- “Just because you need some kind of help doesn’t mean I have to rescue you.”
- “When we overextend, we attract partners who don’t have a sense of boundaries.”
- “I know and trust she can handle herself.”
- “We are co-creating together, rather than one of us pulling the cart the whole time.”
- “When we’re not getting energy back as men, resentment builds like crazy.”
- “If I’m not winning, are you still going to love me?”
- “Get on a growth path.”
- “Getting into good community with men is inoculating yourself against future projects.”
- “I don’t want to do all the heavy lifting.”