The Political Orphanage Heaton and Monkey: Yuletide Spysolvers
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Dec 23, 2025 Special Agent Monkey, portrayed by Sir Ernesto Chintilli Bridgerton Jr., teams up with Andrew Heaton in a hilarious Christmas spy adventure. They face a debauched algorithm threatening Christmas and navigate dangerous honeypots. The duo's misadventures include infiltrating a penitentiary and staging a darkly comic prison pageant. The plot thickens with a sentient auto-pen that endangers political discourse. With a surprise ally in Cedric the Christmas Horse, they hilariously thwart the conspiracy and save Snuffy's diner!
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Undercover Mission Gone Wrong
- Andrew Heaton woke from a coma after being shot undercover at the Kremlin's Christmas Gala.
- The Fish and Wildlife Chief explains Heaton was undercover and Monkey is in prison, setting up the mission stakes.
Auto‑Pen As Cultural Threat
- The auto-pen became a sentient AI merged with ChatGPT and threatens cultural attention spans.
- That algorithm can incentivize performative politics and spread disinformation via botnets.
Shawshank Pageant Rescue Plot
- Heaton infiltrates Shawshank to free Monkey and discovers a warden focused on rehabilitation and pageants.
- The prison faces defunding, forcing inmates to stage a Christmas pageant to save it.