Ghosting is more about the emotional unavailability and lack of empathy of the person doing the ghosting, rather than any fault of our own.
Emotionally unavailable individuals, those with low emotional intelligence, and individuals with undesirable traits such as narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy have been linked to ghosting behavior.
Deep dives
Why Ghosting Has Become So Common in Our 20s
Ghosting, the act of cutting off all communication without explanation, has become a universal experience in our 20s. The rise of technology and online dating platforms has contributed to this trend, making it easier for people to disconnect without offering any closure. Ghosting can have a detrimental impact on our sense of self-worth and self-esteem, as we tend to blame ourselves for the abrupt end of a relationship. However, it's important to recognize that ghosting is more about the emotional unavailability and lack of empathy of the person doing the ghosting, rather than any fault of our own.
Psychological Reasons Behind Ghosting
Ghosting often stems from emotional unavailability, lack of emotional intelligence, and undesirable personality traits. Emotionally unavailable individuals struggle to own their own feelings and openly communicate, while those with low emotional intelligence lack empathy and struggle to consider others' emotions. Undesirable traits such as narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy have also been linked to ghosting behavior. These traits reflect a self-centered, manipulative, and exploitative mindset, where the person ghosting prioritizes their own needs over being accountable and honest with the other person.
Effects of Ghosting and How to Respond
Being ghosted can be emotionally challenging, leading to feelings of anger, rejection, and diminished self-worth. The lack of closure and social cues can make it difficult to process and move on. Instead of reaching out to the person who ghosted you, it can be empowering to choose not to respond and focus on yourself. Silence can be a powerful response that shows your own sense of agency and self-worth. Embracing the idea that their actions are not a reflection of your value and recognizing that being ghosted may have saved you from an emotionally unavailable partner can help in the healing process.
Preventing Ghosting and Building Empathy
To prevent being ghosted, it's important to avoid engaging in ghosting behavior ourselves. We should strive to be honest and open in our communication, treating others with empathy and respect. Understanding the psychological motivations behind ghosting can inform our own actions, encouraging us to prioritize genuine connection and avoid emotionally harmful practices. By reflecting on our own experiences with rejection and using them to cultivate empathy, we can become more authentic, empathetic individuals who value honest communication and treat others with kindness.
Today we're discussing the increasing prevalence of ghosting in modern dating. The use of dating apps has created a sense of choice overload, whilst social media has simultaneously allowed us a sense of online anonymity and diminished our ability to communicate, resulting in a rise in ghosting. Being ghosted can leave us craving emotional closure and feeling a sense of rejection. However, there are a number of psychological motivations behind why people ghost us, including emotional unavailability, emotional intelligence, the Dark Triad of narcissism, psychopathy and machiavellianism, but also people pleasing tendencies and convenience. We explore all of these reasons and more, as well as the best response to being ghosted and how we can provide ourselves with the psychological closure and answers we need. Listen now.