#699 - Justin Mogilski - Will Non-Monogamy Fix The Dating Market?
Oct 28, 2023
01:19:14
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Evolutionary psychologist Justin Mogilski discusses consensual non-monogamous relationships, addressing predictors of relationship satisfaction, societal condemnation, and managing sexual jealousy. The podcast explores the surge in popularity of non-monogamy, sex differences in motives, personality profiles of non-monogamous individuals, and the impact of non-monogamy on relationships. It also touches on the potential link between intelligence and preference for non-monogamous relationships, as well as the societal implications of widespread acceptance of non-monogamy.
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Quick takeaways
Consensual non-monogamy is becoming increasingly popular, with LGBTQ+ individuals and those with an unrestricted socio-sexuality more likely to engage in these relationships.
Effective strategies for maintaining non-monogamous relationships include explicit exclusivity agreements, managing sexual jealousy, and adopting non-hierarchical structures.
Communication, transparency, and self-reflection are key to maintaining fulfilling non-monogamous relationships, along with practicing sexual health maintenance and involving partners in sexual experiences.
Deep dives
The Rise of Consensual Non-Monogamy
Consensual non-monogamy, such as polyamory and open relationships, is becoming increasingly popular, with statistics showing that around one in five people are willing to try it. This shift can be attributed to the rise of individualistic societies and the increased opportunities for personal fulfillment. Notably, LGBTQ+ individuals and those with an unrestricted socio-sexuality are more likely to engage in non-monogamous relationships. Openness to experience is a significant personality trait among individuals in consensual non-monogamy. Effective strategies for maintaining these relationships include explicit exclusivity agreements, attraction disclosure, managing sexual jealousy, reframing comparisons, adopting non-hierarchical structures, practicing sexual health maintenance, and including partners in sexual experiences. Communication is key to navigating jealousy and creating a fulfilling relationship dynamic. Effective management strategies can help individuals reconcile their emotions and create successful non-monogamous relationships.
Consensual Non-Monogamy and Relationship Satisfaction
Consensual non-monogamy can have positive effects on relationship satisfaction, but it requires open communication, transparency, and self-reflection. Effective strategies such as exclusivity agreements, managing sexual jealousy, and practicing sexual health maintenance can help individuals maintain fulfilling relationships with multiple partners. Non-hierarchical structures and the inclusion of partners in sexual experiences contribute to harmonious dynamics. Recognizing and addressing emotions like jealousy and employing cognitive reframing techniques can further promote relationship satisfaction in consensual non-monogamous relationships.
Navigating Challenges in Consensual Non-Monogamy
Consensual non-monogamy poses unique challenges, including coordination among multiple partners, addressing jealousy, and managing sexual health. Effective strategies involve open and honest communication with partners, engaging in attraction disclosure, and adopting non-hierarchical relationship structures. By openly discussing attractions to others, managing jealousy, and reframing comparisons, individuals can work towards a harmonious and satisfying non-monogamous relationship. Additionally, practicing sexual health maintenance, being mindful of reputation management, and involving partners in sexual experiences contribute to successful navigation of challenges in consensual non-monogamy.
The Benefits of Consensual Non-Monogamy
Consensual non-monogamy, such as polyamory and open relationships, offers unique benefits for individuals seeking fulfilling relationships. This relationship style allows for multiple emotional connections, increased personal freedom, and the opportunity to meet diverse needs within different relationships. By actively managing emotions, practicing effective communication, and embracing non-hierarchical structures, individuals in consensual non-monogamous relationships can experience enhanced relationship satisfaction and personal growth. Recognizing the importance of sexual health maintenance, reputation management, and the inclusion of partners in sexual experiences can further contribute to the success and overall well-being of consensual non-monogamous relationships.
Importance of Openness in Non-Monogamous Relationships
In non-monogamous relationships, secrecy about multiple partners can lead to negative experiences. By keeping relationships hidden, individuals are deprived of the opportunity to be public about their connections, participate in group events, and have their partners meet friends and family. Being open about non-monogamy is crucial for building trust, maintaining healthy relationships, and embracing the public aspect that is an essential part of many romantic relationships.
Balancing Resource Distribution in Non-Monogamous Relationships
In non-monogamous relationships, managing resource distribution and attention between partners becomes crucial. When a new individual enters an existing pair bond, the initial courtship often involves investing more time and energy into the new relationship, which can trigger jealousy and feelings of neglect in the established partner. To maintain harmony, it is important to consider the needs and emotions of each partner, offering equal care and attention to prevent rivalry and ensure the satisfaction of all individuals involved.
Justin Mogilski is an an evolutionary psychologist at the University of South Carolina whose research focuses on consensual non-monogamous relationships.
It’s often said that choosing the right life partner is the most important decision you can make. So if you're not sure, why not just choose two? Or more? And how do the people in these relationships make it work?
Expect to learn whether non-monogamy is more likely to end in failure than typical relationships, what sorts of people are most likely to be non-monogamous, why the public so heavily condemns you dating multiple people, how you can better manage sexual jealousy, what the best predictors of relationship satisfaction are and much more...
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