The Daily ‘Modern Love’: Where Did All My Male Friendships Go?
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Aug 17, 2025 Sam Graham-Felsen, a writer known for his candid reflections on loneliness and male friendships, shares his journey of reconnecting with his friends after years of neglect. He discusses the societal pressures that hinder men from expressing vulnerability and how marriage and parenthood shifted his focus away from friendships. Sam emphasizes the importance of nurturing these emotional ties and offers insights into overcoming loneliness by rekindling deep connections. His personal anecdotes resonate, shedding light on the evolving dynamics of male friendships in adulthood.
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Childhood Friendships Felt Intensely Romantic
- Sam describes a fourth-grade friendship with Andrew that felt like falling in love and shaped his idea of close male bonds.
- They created private rituals like the "Babe Olympics" and spent all their free time together, showing deep early intimacy.
Romance Narrowed His Social World
- Sam shows how romantic partnerships and adulthood narrow social roles and deprioritize friends.
- He admits he treated friendships as a luxury once he lived with a partner and chased maturity markers.
Culture Normalizes Sidelining Friends
- Cultural messages and 'vibes' taught Sam that married men should stay home and prioritize family over friends.
- Having children made social time practically impossible and normalized sidelining friendships.