The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episode 285: Weaponizing Neurodivergence in Abusive Relationships with Zawn Villines (Neurodivergence in Relationships)
Zawn Villines, feminist activist and writer, is back on the show! Together we tackle the offensive and ableist ways that neurodiversity is often used to excuse abusive behavior. Zawn makes it clear that being neurodivergent does not mean someone is inherently abusive. In fact, neurodivergent individuals are more often the victims rather than the perpetrators of abuse.
In this episode, we dive into the myths around empathy deficits in autistic individuals and how patriarchy keeps these harmful misconceptions alive. Further, we explore how patriarchy weaponizes neurodivergence against women. This episode is packed with practical advice for women dealing with neurodivergent partners, focusing on finding fair and supportive ways to navigate relationships without sacrificing your well-being.
Featured topics:
- Neurodivergence is not a pass for getting out of household labor (5:12)
- Patriarchy and the weaponization of neurodivergence against women (15:22)
- What women can do when faced with a partner using neurodivergence as an excuse (40:05)
- You can accommodate a partner without sacrificing your life and well-being at the altar of their neurodivergence (41:53)
Learn more about Zawn Villines:
Zawn Villines is a feminist activist and writer who focuses on misogyny in motherhood and marriage. Her work argues that mothers are central to the feminist project, and that fathers must participate equally in household and parenting labor. She believes that inequality in marriage is a primary driver of sexism, and that it limits women's lives and futures. Inequality at home is a form of abuse, and Zawn teaches women to push back on this unacceptable treatment and claim their rightful place in the family, at work, and in their communities.
Her weekly Feminist Advice Friday series advises people about how to live better and more just lives, and how to use their relationships as pathways to liberation and joy.
Outside of her activism, Zawn has written full-time about science, medicine, politics, and the law for two decades. She writes a weekly reproductive justice column, and runs a nonprofit childbirth justice organization.
She hopes to see more mothers claim the power and dignity of motherhood, and to end notions of mothers as irrelevant. Mothers are raising the next generation of resistance.
Resources & Links:
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Episode Link:
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