678: The Power of Unlearning Silence, with Elaine Lin Hering

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Apr 29, 2024

Elaine Lin Hering is a skilled facilitator and writer dedicated to enhancing communication and conflict management. In this conversation, she emphasizes the importance of 'unlearning silence' to foster open dialogue in leadership. Hering discusses how personal motivations can empower individuals to voice their thoughts, and she provides practical strategies for leaders to bridge different perspectives. Her insights reveal that embracing resistance can spark meaningful change, while awareness of societal influences is essential for promoting effective communication.

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ANECDOTE

Taxi Ride Story

Elaine Lin Hering struggled to ask a taxi driver to open the window.
This experience highlighted the internal debate and discomfort associated with speaking up.

INSIGHT

Varying Perceptions of Speaking Up

What may seem trivial to one person can be a significant challenge for another.
Leaders often underestimate the difficulty some individuals face in speaking up.

ADVICE

Start with Why

Start with your "why" to motivate speaking up, especially when uncomfortable.
Identify a reason that outweighs the discomfort to push through and be heard.

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Elaine Lin Hering: Unlearning Silence

Elaine Lin Hering is a facilitator, speaker, and writer who helps people build skills in communication, collaboration, and conflict management. She is a former Managing Partner of Triad Consulting Group and Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, specializing in dispute resolution, mediation, and negotiation. She is the author of Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Your Talent, and Live More Fully.

Those of us who have struggled to speak up have been told, “Just be more confident,” or, “Say this to get started.” As Elaine and I discuss in this conversation, there’s a larger context at play…and great power for both leaders and the people they lead, in unlearning silence.

Key Points

Start with why. For change to actually happen, find something that matters more than the old behavior.
What seems obvious to us isn’t always obvious to others. Connecting the dots for others demonstrates the meaning you’re making.
Beginning a thought with, “From where I sit…” provides an entry point for what you need to say while also acknowledging different perspectives from others.
Most people want to be helpful, but don’t always know how. Tell them how they can be helpful in the moment.
Resistance is part of the process of influencing others. While it doesn’t feel good in the moment, it’s often the catalyst for creating movement.

Resources Mentioned

Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Your Talent, and Live More Fully* by Elaine Lin Hering

Interview Notes

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