Elaine Lin Hering is a skilled facilitator and writer dedicated to enhancing communication and conflict management. In this conversation, she emphasizes the importance of 'unlearning silence' to foster open dialogue in leadership. Hering discusses how personal motivations can empower individuals to voice their thoughts, and she provides practical strategies for leaders to bridge different perspectives. Her insights reveal that embracing resistance can spark meaningful change, while awareness of societal influences is essential for promoting effective communication.
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question_answer ANECDOTE
Taxi Ride Story
Elaine Lin Hering struggled to ask a taxi driver to open the window.
This experience highlighted the internal debate and discomfort associated with speaking up.
insights INSIGHT
Varying Perceptions of Speaking Up
What may seem trivial to one person can be a significant challenge for another.
Leaders often underestimate the difficulty some individuals face in speaking up.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Start with Why
Start with your "why" to motivate speaking up, especially when uncomfortable.
Identify a reason that outweighs the discomfort to push through and be heard.
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In *Unlearning Silence*, Elaine Lin Hering delves into the roots of silence, examining patterns that keep us trapped and showcasing the impact of rewiring unconscious behaviors on innovation and collaboration. The book offers a roadmap for recognizing and unlearning silence to unleash talent and foster more authentic conversations.
Elaine Lin Hering: Unlearning Silence
Elaine Lin Hering is a facilitator, speaker, and writer who helps people build skills in communication, collaboration, and conflict management. She is a former Managing Partner of Triad Consulting Group and Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, specializing in dispute resolution, mediation, and negotiation. She is the author of Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Your Talent, and Live More Fully.
Those of us who have struggled to speak up have been told, “Just be more confident,” or, “Say this to get started.” As Elaine and I discuss in this conversation, there’s a larger context at play…and great power for both leaders and the people they lead, in unlearning silence.
Key Points
Start with why. For change to actually happen, find something that matters more than the old behavior.
What seems obvious to us isn’t always obvious to others. Connecting the dots for others demonstrates the meaning you’re making.
Beginning a thought with, “From where I sit…” provides an entry point for what you need to say while also acknowledging different perspectives from others.
Most people want to be helpful, but don’t always know how. Tell them how they can be helpful in the moment.
Resistance is part of the process of influencing others. While it doesn’t feel good in the moment, it’s often the catalyst for creating movement.
Resources Mentioned
Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Your Talent, and Live More Fully* by Elaine Lin Hering
Interview Notes
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Related Episodes
How to Speak Up, with Connson Locke (episode 546)
End Imposter Syndrome in Your Organization, with Jodi-Ann Burey (episode 556)
The Mindset Leaders Need to Address Burnout, with Christina Maslach (episode 608)
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