The Mel Robbins Podcast cover image

The Mel Robbins Podcast

Why Making Friends as an Adult Feels Impossible & What to Do About It

Feb 10, 2025
Feeling like adult friendships are impossible? You're not alone! Dive into the surprising reasons behind the so-called 'friendship recession.' Discover the three essential pillars for creating lasting bonds and learn why it's crucial to not take friendship shifts personally. Explore the Let Them Theory for a more flexible approach to connections, along with a step-by-step plan to find and keep incredible friends at any stage in life. Plus, uncover shocking research on how long it truly takes to form close relationships!
01:17:02

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Quick takeaways

  • Adulthood presents unique challenges for forming friendships due to 'the great scattering' as life paths diverge after youth.
  • Understanding the three pillars of proximity, timing, and energy is crucial for creating deep, lasting friendships in adulthood.

Deep dives

The Challenge of Adult Friendships

Making friends as an adult can feel overwhelmingly difficult due to a significant change in how friendships function after childhood. Unlike the structured environment of school and communal activities of youth, adulthood often lacks the same opportunities for organic social interactions. As people enter their 20s, they often experience what Mel Robbins terms 'the great scattering', where friends begin to disperse into different life paths, diminishing the frequency of interactions. This transition can result in feelings of loneliness, as adults may find themselves isolated from their previously available social networks.

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