The Mel Robbins Podcast

Why Making Friends as an Adult Feels Impossible & What to Do About It

256 snips
Feb 10, 2025
Feeling like adult friendships are impossible? You're not alone! Dive into the surprising reasons behind the so-called 'friendship recession.' Discover the three essential pillars for creating lasting bonds and learn why it's crucial to not take friendship shifts personally. Explore the Let Them Theory for a more flexible approach to connections, along with a step-by-step plan to find and keep incredible friends at any stage in life. Plus, uncover shocking research on how long it truly takes to form close relationships!
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INSIGHT

The Great Scattering

  • The rules of friendship change drastically when you reach your 20s, like a "great scattering".
  • Childhood conditions you to expect easy friendships, but adulthood shifts to individual effort.
INSIGHT

Loneliness and the Three Pillars

  • Loneliness stems from not understanding that adult friendships require different approaches.
  • Embrace the three pillars of adult friendship: proximity, timing, and energy.
INSIGHT

Proximity

  • Proximity, or physical closeness, is the most crucial factor in forming friendships.
  • Research shows you need 50 hours for casual friends, 90 for friends, and 200 for close friends.
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