10% Happier with Dan Harris Are They Really a Narcissist? Do They Really Have Borderline? Are They Truly Gaslighting You? How To Know. And What To Do When People Weaponize Therapy-Speak Against You. | Isabelle Morley
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Nov 3, 2025 
Isabelle Morley, a clinical psychologist and EFT-certified couples therapist, dives into the misuse of therapy terms and their impact on relationships. She explains the distinction between abuse and bad behavior while clarifying the correct use of terms like 'gaslighting' and 'narcissism.' Morley emphasizes the importance of setting and communicating boundaries, as well as recognizing the difference between red flags and normal imperfections. With practical tips, she helps listeners navigate relationships beyond therapy-speak.
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Therapy Terms Are Overused And Destabilizing
- Therapy terms have spread widely and are often misused or weaponized to control or absolve people.
- Isabelle Morley warns this destabilizes relationships and encourages overreliance on labels instead of action.
Label Behaviors, Not People
- If someone behaves abusively once, label the behavior not the person and assess pattern and remorse over time.
- Call it an abusive behavior only when it repeats, lacks genuine remorse, and aims for control.
EFT Explains The Pursue–Withdraw Cycle
- Emotionally Focused Therapy explains relationship conflict as negative cycles rooted in attachment needs.
- EFT targets vulnerability and interrupting pursue-withdraw patterns to rebuild secure bonds.
