Laura Heck, virtual couples therapist and co-host of Marriage Therapy Radio, discusses topics such as mystery dates, adult playrooms, habit stacking, and the misuse of 'narcissism' in therapy. She shares insights into observing emotional responses in the first session, the role of psycho education influenced by John Gottman, fear-striking phrases faced by therapists, and the importance of working through people to improve relationships.
Individual relationships have unique dynamics that require exploration and understanding.
Activities like mystery dates and sticky note appreciations can foster a deeper connection and cultivate gratitude in relationships.
Deep dives
Most Common Reasons Couples Seek Therapy
The main reasons couples seek therapy are trouble communicating, lack of intimacy, escalating conflict, and feeling like roommates. As a therapist, Laura Heck delves deeper into each issue, recognizing that while these complaints are common, individual relationships have unique dynamics that require exploration and understanding.
Observing Clients in the First Session
During the first therapy session, Laura pays close attention to her clients' emotional and physical cues. She reflects on their emotions and asks about the meaning behind them. Additionally, she explores the way they tell their relationship story, as it reveals their perspective and overall satisfaction. By observing and understanding these factors, Laura gains valuable insight into the couple's dynamics and areas that require attention.
Fun Activities and Exercises for Couples
Laura suggests an activity called 'mystery dates' as a way to introduce novelty and excitement into a relationship. Couples take turns planning surprise dates for each other, incorporating enjoyable activities and a meal. This exercise helps create a sense of play and adventure, fostering a deeper connection. Another activity Laura recommends is 'sticky note appreciations,' where partners write down and share positive things they observe about each other, cultivating gratitude and shifting focus away from negativity.
Mystery dates, adult playrooms, habit stacking, and the misuse of “narcissism” with Laura Heck, a virtual couples therapist. Laura is also a co-host of the podcast Marriage Therapy Radio.
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NEW BOOK ALERT! You may be aware that I’ve written or co-written five business books, including The Power of Moments and Made to Stick. I’ve got a sixth book coming out in January called RESET: How to Change What’s Not Working. It’s a book intended to help you and your team get unstuck, to overcome the gravity of the way things have always worked. Learn more about the book or preorder it here.
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