Think Again: The most confusing years of your life — and strategies to get through them
Aug 10, 2023
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Psychotherapist Satya Doyle Byock discusses the challenges of early adulthood, balancing purpose and survival. She explores navigating the hurdles, trusting one's inner voice, redefining relationships, and offers advice for young adults on self-discovery.
Early adulthood involves balancing the demands of practicality and stability with the pursuit of personal meaning and purpose.
The transition into adulthood requires self-knowledge, critical examination of ingrained values, and redefining relationships with authority figures to embrace one's authentic self.
Deep dives
Crafting Your Identity in Early Adulthood
In early adulthood, individuals often find themselves facing difficult decisions that can shape their future. These choices can involve practicality and prestige versus experiential and meaningful opportunities. Psychotherapist Satya Doyle-Bayak explains that this struggle between stability and meaning is a defining characteristic of early adulthood. The challenges revolve around finding stability in relationships, finances, and basic survival skills, as well as defining one's individuality and purpose. Doyle-Bayak emphasizes the importance of honoring both stability and meaning, striking a balance between the two and listening to one's deeper self.
The Need for Self-Knowledge and Redefining Relationships
Doyle-Bayak highlights the lack of emphasis on self-knowledge during the transition into adulthood. Society often derides young people for being narcissistic when they explore their wants, needs, and vulnerabilities. However, self-knowledge is integral to making informed decisions and leading a fulfilling life. Additionally, Doyle-Bayak addresses the challenging process of redefining relationships with parents and older mentors. Separating from past authority figures and beliefs becomes a critical aspect of personal growth during this stage. It involves critically examining and questioning ingrained values to discover and embrace one's authentic self.
Designing a Supportive Society
To support young people in early adulthood, Doyle-Bayak envisions a society where stability and infrastructure are provided. She suggests implementing living wages, paid internships, free education, universal healthcare, and a shift from punitive to supportive culture. Mentorship programs and a redefinition of what it means to be an elder would facilitate personal growth and self-discovery. Doyle-Bayak also proposes incorporating self-exploration and community engagement as integral parts of the transition into adulthood. These changes would encourage young adults to discover their passions, foster a sense of community, and allow for deep personal growth.
Early adulthood can be a particularly confusing and unsettling phase of life. You’re figuring out how to get a job, pay rent, and plan meals. At the same time, you’re also determining your values and the kind of person you want to be. It can feel like being pulled down two completely opposite life paths. In the latest episode of Apple News In Conversation’s Think Again series, host Shumita Basu talks to psychotherapist Satya Doyle Byock about how to balance the tugs of purpose and survival during the period she calls “quarterlife.” She’s even written a book on it, called, Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood.
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