099: Deep Chats with a Sex Therapist: Spontaneous Vs. Responsive Desire, Kink and Internalized Shame, and Ketamine Assisted Therapy

In this episode, Elle and Vee dive deep with a psychotherapist who they refer to as Wonder Woman on this episode for the sake of anonymity.  With specializations in sex therapy and ketamine-assisted psychotherapy, the girls pick her brain on everything from desire discrepancy to the most common issues within couples, from what a ketamine-assisted psychotherapy session actually looks like to neuroplasticity. 

Psychotherapy vs. Psychoanalysis: what is the difference? (1:58)

Top reasons couples seek sex therapy counseling: both gay and cis-het couples, and individuals. (5:15)

Spontaneous desire vs responsive desire: a dive into libido differences and desire discrepancy. (6:25)

Is there a way to get spontaneous desire back? Esther Perel’s Mating in Captivity. (13:33)

The Dual Control Model (Sexual Brakes and Accelerators): a concept from Emily Nagoski’s book Come As You Are and her 2nd book Come Together. (20:57)

Kink and shame: how to bring you kinky desires up to your partner and working through internalized shame. (26:12)

Kink as shadows: how roleplaying can help one work through shame with reframing and control. (30:02)

Kink isn’t always about processing something. Heteroflexible male-male play as a “taboo kink”. (31:27)

Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy: how to use it properly, and how it’s being done irresponsibly. (35:17)

How neuroplasticity works in the brain using the snow track analogy by Michael Pollan, author of the book How to Change Your Mind.  (47:24)

Ketamine Assisted Couples Psychotherapy. (53:02)

Final Nugget: Keeping the idea of play and pleasure at the forefront. (53:57)

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