Jealousy and the Illusion Of Safety In Relationships with Dr. Joli Hamilton, Ph.D.

This episode of Laid Open Podcast features guest Dr. Joli Hamilton, Ph.D., a research psychologist, relationship coach and founder of 'The Year of Opening.' Together, we discuss the challenges and opportunities of non-monogamous relationships, the importance of creating custom relationship dynamics, and the primal value of jealousy… because jealousy isn’t always a bad thing. 

Dr. Joli also shares insights on the fluid nature of attachment styles, the complexity of jealousy, and her own experiences with non-monogamous relationships. Listeners can expect to learn about the importance of agreements, navigating jealousy, and the concept of internalized polyphobia. Our conversation provides a deep dive into conscious relationship building and the nuances of managing evolving relationship needs.

We also touch on the fluidity of attachment styles, the process of navigating differing desires between partners, and how cultural and personal backgrounds influence relationship dynamics. Dr. Hamilton also introduces her 'Jealousy Roadmap' as a tool for understanding and managing jealousy–a must for anyone who’s ever felt jealous and been made to feel bad about it.

00:00 Introduction to the Guest: Dr. Joli Hamilton

00:38 Exploring Jealousy and Eroticizing It

02:38 The Concept of Non-Monogamy

03:28 Creating Safety in Relationships

05:01 The Importance of Agreements

09:20 Attachment Styles and Relationship Dynamics

12:17 Navigating Non-Monogamy and Polyamory

18:43 Internalized Polyphobia and Cultural Norms

23:32 Seeking Validation and Understanding in Relationships

24:14 The Challenge of Conscious Awareness

24:57 Navigating Consent Violations and Unconscious Slips

25:37 The Complexity of Holding Deep Work in Relationships

26:01 Commitment to Loving and Creating Resonant Relationships

26:41 Sexual Trauma and Differing Needs in Relationships

27:34 Midlife Crises and Changing Relationship Dynamics

28:50 Exploring Sexual Autonomy and Freedom

29:59 The Importance of Slowing Down in Relationship Transitions

32:25 Desire Discrepancies and Non-Monogamy

34:01 Understanding and Embracing Jealousy

41:44 The Jealousy Roadmap and Relationship Customization

46:42 Conclusion and Resources for Further Learning